Patchen Mortimer

It's not every day The Onion makes fun of your work. I'm going to call that a win. theonion.com/city-of-baltim…

BREAKING: Governor JB Pritzker just took a stand and called for the undoing of the Citizens United ruling. This is spot on.

Every Ice agent and every male prison employee should be required to provide DNA so that they can be matched up to their kids for child support. And criminal prosecution

This is not incompetence. This is intentional. They don't want to fix the catastrophe they've created. They want chaos. They want crashes. They want unprecedented social unrest. The Epstein class has plans. Plans so horrific they use child rape and cannibalism as a cover story.

Pete Hegseth is an alcoholic Christian nationalist, with the IQ of Texas roadkill in August, that thinks he’s the head of some modern day Templar army in a new Christian Crusade. His impeachment needs to be televised. He will cry like a little bitch.

Murkowski said the structure of the ID requirements were too cumbersome and would restrict voting access - which is true. Rather than dig in and fight for a fair bill, she’s happy to have those requirements if you exempt voters 65+ Hey @lisamurkowski if you know something is wrong, then it’s absolute cowardice to carve out your base and screw over all other American’s. Try actually standing for something for once!

Here are good books that will not just teach you some of the history but also new ways to think about art

Update: Yesterday, we filed a lawsuit to block the biggest TV merger in history (Nexstar + Tegna). That sparked a sprint by Nexstar to try to close the deal before a court could stop them. Less than 24 hours after we filed, USDOJ reportedly dropped its investigation, the FCC waived the rules that would normally block a merger this big, and Nexstar announced the deal was closed. Their CEO thanked the FCC chairman by name. Not so fast. This morning, I joined a group of AGs and filed an emergency motion asking the court to freeze this merger to give it time to hear our case. This merger deserves a full hearing before Nexstar starts raising TV prices on almost half the families in North Carolina and laying off reporters at local news stations across the state. This isn't speculation. Nexstar told its investors it expects to make roughly $135 million a year from charging higher fees to your cable and satellite provider, and another $165 million from "synergies" - their word for laying people off. And the law is on our side. When a merger gives one company this much control over a market, federal antitrust law presumes it's illegal. In every single NC market affected by this deal, the concentration blows past the legal threshold. It's not a close call, and that's probably why they tried to skip the part where a judge weighs in. Our emergency motion was just filed. I'll keep you posted.

This morning @scratchyjohnson tweeted an important factoid. Squanto, the Indian who spoke English and helped the pilgrims survive, was sold by John Smith to a Spaniards and the deed exists in the city we're in for Excursion. Rather than rolling our eyes, Alan, Gavin & I went to the state archives in Málaga to see if we can find said recorded deed of 20 Indians sold by John Smith to Juan Bautista Reales. We get to the Archives (see Alan's picture below), and a small genial white lab coat wearing gentleman who speaks no English says this is impossible to find. His new boss, the head archivist, Carmen, comes in and says it certainly exists but may be difficult to find. If you only had the year. We tell her it was 1614. She pulls up a list of the books from 29 notaries whose work they have from 1614. She asks who the notary was. We have no idea. They say they can't go through 29 archives to look for it. Also it's all in old Spanish which nobody speaks and it'll be hard to locate even if they know the Notary. So Alan and Gavin get to work. Gavin finds an article in the internet archive that seems to have a partial picture of the document. Carmen and the other archivist decipher the name after 15 min. They find that name in their cross reference. Carmen goes to the vault to look while the lab coat gentleman asks for my life history, driver's licence number and a lien on my grandchildren. Totally worth it. Carmen comes back to say she found the volume. It is tremendously delicate. Opening it may break some pages. Does it have to be today because if so the answer will be no. We ask her if this is interesting to them. Both very seriously nod their heads. We tell them this is very important to the United States and many of our friends. Carmen tells us she will find it but that it takes time. White linen gloves and patience. We tell her to take her time. She says she will take a picture and email it to me. So here's why all this is important: after Squanto was sold by an Englishman to a Spaniard names Reales, said Spaniard brought Squanto and 19 other "inios" to Málaga. He recorded the deed in the state archives. Then a Franciscan priest ransomed Squanto. Squanto became Catholic. Was baptized and confirmed in Málaga. He then made his way to England where he worked and learned English. He paid his passage back across the ocean and found his Wampanoag tribesmen. Then when the Pilgrims landed they found a Catholic English-speaking native who helped them survive their first winter. It is entirely possible that but for a Franciscan priest who ransomed Squanto, the Pilgrims may not have survived their first winter in New England. That's history. American history. And the record of it is in Málaga. In a book. One of 29 books kept by notaries in Málaga in 1614. That are still searchable. This image, when it comes, belongs in the US National Archive. This is Cultural Debris. x.com/i/status/20349… cc: @alancornett @gwbled @Gonnassaurius_ @wrathofgnon

#BREAKING: Kevin Frey: “…in a new letter from a top Democrat on the Senate Finance Committee and a top Democrat on the House Ovesight Committee, they are asking the White House to kind of clarify what this role is, that letter reading in part: ‘Mr Kushner is simultaneously being paid millions of dollars by the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia and other Gulf monarchies while leading diplomatic negotiations with #Iran and Russia. This corrupt arrangement is not only criminal, but is endangering the lives of Americans and threatening our national security.’”😳

For most of 2024, America was cruising along at +20 global favorability. Top Gear car, best in show, everyone wanted to be seen in it. China was parked firmly below zero. Nobody liked it. Nobody admitted to liking it. It was the automotive equivalent of a Romanian people carrier. Then, sometime around early 2025, America’s driver appeared to have an enormous brainfart at the wheel. The line doesn’t drift downward. It doesn’t gently decline. It falls off a cliff with the elegance of a grand piano being pushed out of a window. By April, the US had gone negative. For the first time in the survey’s history, more people around the world viewed America unfavorably than favorably. China, meanwhile, did absolutely nothing impressive. It just stood there while America collapsed around it, and somehow ended up at +8.8. The US is now at -1.5. China is at +8.8. A gap of over ten points, in the wrong direction, achieved in roughly four months. You genuinely couldn’t do this on purpose. You would have to try extremely hard to throw away 20 years of soft power this quickly and this comprehensively. And yet. Here we are. Gandalv / @Microinteracti1

Moskowitz: Allegedly, Corey Lewandowski was shaking people down. He was saying, ‘If you want a contract, you’ve got to go hire this firm.’ That $100,000 number we heard, where anything over $100,000 had to come to Kristi Noem’s desk—well, it turns out it did go to her desk, but Corey Lewandowski was sitting at her desk. And that was really all about Corey being able to see where the money was going so that he knew who, allegedly, to go shake down. You don’t know who to shake down—you don’t know who to force to hire you as a lobbyist—if you don’t know who’s owed money from the department. That obviously created a tremendous amount of bureaucracy and slowed the department down as well. Then he put his minions in all of these places—on the procurement teams—so he would have insight into procurement. He could tell them: this goes to that company, this goes to that company. The committees are going to ask for bank records. They’re going to see all sorts of things. I think what we’re going to find is that his wealth has increased dramatically.

If you took all the undocumented people that have illegally voted since 1988, and multiplied it by all of transgender athletes that played in any college sport in the year 2025, your total would still be 37,720 less than the amount of times Trump was mentioned in the Epstein files. Sources: Trans athletes: thehill.com/homenews/lgbtq… Undocumented voter fraud: americanimmigrationcouncil.org/blog/myths-abo…

This is sad. I know as a politician these companies are going to spend a billion dollars against me for saying it but 🤷🏽‍♀️ Pervasive gambling is not good for society. It turns life into a casino, traps people in addiction & debt, surges domestic violence, and fosters manipulation.

The "Headache" that kills in 24 hours.🧵 As a doctor, this is the one diagnosis that genuinely scares me. Bacterial Meningitis doesn't give you days to "wait and see." It gives you hours. By the time you realize it's not just a flu, it’s often too late. 👉Stop scrolling and memorize these 3 clinical red flags: 1. The Fused Neck: This isn't a "stiff muscle" from sleeping wrong. If you have a fever and literally cannot touch your chin to your chest - that is Nuchal Rigidity. It’s an emergency. Period. 2. The "Glass Test" Rash: If you see tiny purple pin-pricks on the skin, press a clear glass firmly against them. If the spots don't fade/disappear under the glass, your blood is leaking. That’s Septicemia. Run to the ER. 3. Agonizing Photophobia: It’s not just "bright lights are annoying." It’s a physical, painful wince at a smartphone screen or a bedside lamp. 👉How to actually stay safe? 1. Mask up in crowds: It’s a respiratory drop infection. If there’s an outbreak in your school/hostel, a mask is your best friend. 2. Stop sharing everything: Vapes, spoons, water bottles, cigarettes. If their saliva is on it, the bacteria is on it. 3. Hygiene: Wash your hands like your life depends on it. 4. Vaccines: Check your records for MenACWY/MenB when you have a minute. It’s the ultimate insurance policy.

🚨😳 Some 11th grade students at Belleville High School in New Jersey (90% minority enrollment, 73% Hispanic, 62% economically disadvantaged) received a message from their guidance counselor through Google Classroom to earn service hours at an ICE detention facility

As a Gen Xer, I can tell you boomers and even my own generation comparing their 20s to today’s 20-30 year-olds needs to stop. I paid $600 for a West Hollywood apartment at 23. Today it’s $3500. Burgers weren’t $20, they were $6 to $8 in a nice restaurant. Life is not comparable. It’s a completely different world now.

"Underage girls testing positive for pregnancy at detention centers." Let me fix that for you. "Children being raped at detention centers." There you go.

i love these comments by the editor making the accusations

It's interesting that this really shows how much more robust and behemoth the U.S. publishing industry is than the UK: this was published in the UK with no pushback and then it hit the early U.S. readers/reviewers, who were having none of it, identifying it as obviously AI, and then NYT pushed over it over the line of cancelation (I have a new appreciation suddenly for the NYT). Also - it' so so so obviously AI. Usually I read these things and I can't tell but this very obviously was. Here's a brilliant thread on why & common AI writing ticks reddit.com/r/books/commen…

There are a few ways to remove aerosols. Ventilation & air filtration are good ways. However, the favoured way by Public Health appears to be just to delete them. Compare what this page said when crawled in Dec 2025 to what it says today. 7th Dec 2025 pictured. 1/🧵