😛😆😛😆😛😆

Is April showers bring my flowers a common saying everywhere or just the north east because how could that be seasonally accurate everywhere

Computer explode my accounting professor

Computer age my accounting professor rapidly until she dies

Computer evaporate my accounting professor with lasers

Computer cast lightning bolt spell of death on my accounting professor

I really hope I get to retire in florida one day

How freeing it must be to be a backwoods Floridian that isn't evacuating for a big hurricane

@sagm0mmy 8 hours locked in midtown apartment with puking dog challenge

Spending this beautiful day at work 😒

@madtrillgirl Ugh these old heads...literally nobody gets a tounge piercing for that reason

@screenqueen420 She was like “well you know back in the day with the tongue piercings …”

Someone’s cousins wife just asked me if my smiley was for sex?!

@sagm0mmy @scopgieb I could never forget you

@screenqueen420 @scopgieb Machete trade is nuts. Remember me when ur famous

That’s not good

Evan lazarus liked my tweet and I made chris Klemens laugh in the same week am I about to be famous

They are grooming clav into the next Justin Bieber it’s giving vibes

It's be stupid and tell lies to my customers day

Coworker just brought me bag of old shoes #blessed #loved

Hit the counterfeit geek bar and felt a cymbal crash reverberate through my spine. Threw it away like an ancient ape discarding a mushroom he now knows not to fuck with

getting high on open window air

I hope drake joins my roommates established lesbian relationship

We would give him discount on rent if he needs place to stay