GratefulTed

Because nothing says "moral clarity" like a Nebraska congressman channeling Churchill while the American taxpayer plays the role of the eternally generous, slightly hungover uncle who keeps writing checks to keep the bar tab open in Kiev. Being on the right side of history is easy when you're spending other people's money and the history books are written by the winners who had the better speechwriters. Meanwhile, the actual right side of now involves wondering why we're treating Ukraine like a distressed debutante. By all means, keep lecturing the Putin fans. Nothing convinces skeptics like a bald eagle in a plaid jacket yelling "Churchill!" while the federal credit card melts. God save the Republic... and pass the whiskey.

this is what it means to be on the right side of history you who support Putin learn

Yes, before Trump we had pristine elections smoother than a Kennedy's alibi, Russian interference as rare as honest reporting at CNN, and candidates who accepted defeat with all the grace of a Victorian lady fainting into a bowl of potpourri. Now suddenly the sky is falling, the Republic is in flames, and the only solution is to scream "TRAITOR!" in a crowded theater while clutching our pearls and our felonious indictments. If Donald Trump is the "enemy within," then American politics has finally achieved what it's always strived for: turning the entire country into one giant dysfunctional family Thanksgiving dinner where everyone accuses Uncle Sam of stealing the election and the stuffing. Pass the gravy—and the psychiatric bill.

Trump dozed off in the Oval Office? Heavens to Betsy. Call the 25th Amendment, the National Guard, and maybe a priest while we're at it. Because nothing says "national security crisis" like a man who's worked 20-hour days catching a few winks, as opposed to, say, a president who needed color-coded flashcards to remember which country he was in. God bless America—and may she deliver us from aging rock stars with more opinions than functioning brain cells.

Ana’s out here warning us not to “let him get away with it,” as if the American people didn’t just hand him the keys, the title, and a polite middle finger to the whole indicted circus. Classic Washington: lose an election, then act like the voters committed the real crime. Bless her heart. Or whatever’s left of it after all that performative outrage.

Ana Navarro: "Donald Trump got indicted for many very serious crimes… If you're feeling as disappointed and frustrated as I am, what we can't let him get away with is the abuses of power that his government is committing today."

Like the Hope Diamond, only instead of flawless sparkle it's mostly just flawless lines of blow, and the curse falls on everyone within a six-figure radius of his laptop. We've reached the point in our republic where the son of the leader of the free world is celebrated as a comeback kid for finally putting on a suit and not nodding off mid-prostitute. Next up: participation trophies for crack pipes and a Medal of Honor for "Most Creative Use of a Dead Brother's Widow." Truly, the shining city on a hill has become the halfway house on Pennsylvania Avenue. God bless America—and may He have mercy on whatever's left of her dignity.

Hunter Biden is a national fking treasure.

Bless this Finnish PhD candidate's earnest little heart. She's out here sounding the alarm that Elon Musk and the modern right are radical departures from the good old days of... what, exactly? Beltway insiders quietly pocketing foreign aid while NATO members treated defense spending like optional yoga dues? Thirty years ago, we had a president who couldn't keep his cigar in his own mouth, a Congress that invented new entitlements faster than you could say "balanced budget," and Europeans happily letting America foot the bill for their peace dividend. Now suddenly wanting actual borders, not bankrupting the kids on endless wars, and questioning why we're still subsidizing countries that couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper bag is "pro-Russian treachery"? If this is "gaslighting," the only ones getting lit are the ones still pretending the old consensus wasn't a fabulous grift. The far right didn't radicalize—the Overton Window just got tired of being propped open by the same people who think "democratic norms" means never losing an election. The photo of Trump and Elon just looks like two guys who actually built things instead of writing theses about them.

Elon Musk and the modern far right love to gaslight the public by claiming their views were considered normal a few decades ago. Do not fall for it. There is absolutely nothing normal about their corruption, lies, and pro-Russian treachery. The idea that today's far right represents traditional, moderate values from twenty or thirty years ago is a complete fabrication. They are pushing a radical, post-truth ideology rooted in racism and dishonesty, desperately trying to normalize positions that any sane person would have rejected in the past. Look at what is happening right now under Trump: no mainstream conservative decades ago wanted to dismantle NATO, grant the president absolute legal immunity, eliminate basic checks and balances, or allow a leader to make billions of dollars directly from holding office. These are not traditional positions. They are a direct assault on democratic governance that would have been completely disqualifying thirty years ago. The shift in foreign policy is equally alarming. No one with a functioning brain in the West would have tolerated a pro-Russian stance during the Cold War or its aftermath. Today, the far right openly acts as a mouthpiece for a hostile foreign dictatorship, treating Western alliances with contempt. This is not conservative nostalgia. This also has nothing to do with common sense. It is a dangerous, modern extremist movement designed to erode the rule of law. Reject the gaslighting and recognize this ideology for what it truly is, a toxic departure from sanity

@chiky_handlr Boring

I'm gonna post this everyday so MAGA never forgets what Trump did on Jan 6

@jasonllevin The eternal cry of the progressive preservationist: "Stop improving things, you monster!"Trump dares to add a ballroom so we don't have to host heads of state in a glorified circus tent with Porta-Potties out back, and suddenly it's the sack of Rome.

Americans all over are calling for the courts to order Trump to rebuild the White House's East Wing just how it was before he destroyed it. Do YOU support this idea?

Ah, the nose ring. That timeless declaration of independence, like hanging a "Do Not Disturb" sign on your septum. Back in my day, we put rings in bulls' noses to lead them around. Now the ladies do it voluntarily and wonder why nobody takes them seriously. This one’s gone full Groucho Marx with the eyebrow Sharpie—clearly aiming for "edgy intellectual" but landing somewhere between "carnival fortune teller" and "woman who argues with customer service for sport." Give me a quiet girl who reads books instead of her own press releases any day. At least she won’t charge you for the emotional damage.

What do you think when you see a nose ring on a woman?

The Democrats have finally found their Great White Hope: a man who turned "crack is whack" into a business plan, painted like a toddler with finger paints, and made sleeping with his dead brother's widow look like performance art. Compared to JD Vance? Well, yes, the crackhead is more popular — in exactly the same way that a flaming dumpster full of expired cheese is more popular than plain oatmeal. One offers chaotic entertainment and the faint whiff of federal felonies; the other offers Midwestern competence and the unforgivable sin of having read a book without snorting it first. America's standards have fallen so low we've got people out here polling "Who would you rather have a beer with?" and the answer is apparently the guy who'd steal the beer, smoke the hops, and then ask Dad for a pardon. God bless this republic. We're not electing leaders anymore; we're just choosing which circus animal gets the biggest applause.

Popular opinion : Hunter Biden is far more appreciated by Americans than JD Vance.

@MarkIraKaufman @joeroganhq He got himself elected President. Three times!!!

@tedsrds @joeroganhq After he successfully dodged the draft 5 times, what did your cult leader spend HIS career doing...?

Michael Keaton: "When Trump said ‘I could shoot somebody on 5th Avenue and they’d still vote for me,’ basically what he’s saying is these people are so stupid, they’d still vote for me. They have no respect for you, trust me."

If we're ranking "earned" fortunes, I'd rather take the guy who built skyscrapers, stiffed a few subcontractors, and turned a trust fund into a brand than the one who got rich wearing rubber nipples and driving the Batmobile on someone else's dime. At least Trump's voters know they're getting a carnival barker. Who, without doubt, is the hardest working President in history. The man never sleeps. Keaton's audience thinks they're getting profound political wisdom from a guy whose most memorable line lately is "I'm Batman" delivered with the gravity of a UN resolution.

@tedsrds @joeroganhq Michael Keaton EARNED his fortune, while you eagerly bend over for a trust fund baby who never did a real day's work in his entire life, all while stiffing REAL working men countless times over.

@LionelMedia @RealCandaceO Give the lady credit: in a media age where everyone’s terrified of the wrong retweet, she’s out there committing the ultimate sin—having an original thought in public. The outrage merchants will call it treason; the rest of us just call it Tuesday in the post-liberal clown car.

@RealCandaceO continues to prove that she is one of the most influential and discussed voices in modern media. Her appearance at Russia's premier economic forum sparked worldwide debate, drawing praise from supporters and criticism from detractors. Yet regardless of opinion, she once again dominated the conversation. Fans view her trip as an example of intellectual independence and a willingness to engage directly with people and ideas beyond approved narratives. Mindless contrarians questioned the optics, but the controversy only amplified attention. In an increasingly crowded media landscape, Candace demonstrated her unique ability to command headlines, challenge assumptions and generate global discussion.

Zelensky’s finally proposing a sit-down with Putin like it’s a couples’ therapy session after three years of smashing the furniture. Negotiations were never the problem, you see—except when he treated them like a bad Tinder date he kept ghosting. Now, with the lights flickering and the band packing up, suddenly it’s “Let’s talk, big guy.” Classic politician move: when the checks start bouncing and the audience is reaching for the pitchforks, out comes the open letter and the doe-eyed peacemaker act. It’s like watching a man who burned down the house demand credit for calling the fire department. Government: where even the wars come with more plot twists than a bad novel.

Negotiations were never the problem. Zelensky's refusal to negotiate was.

As a white guy who's never once lost sleep over Black women's hair routines, this is peak Michelle: turning 'learn to swim' into a systemic hair conspiracy. 'We straighten it for "y'all" and now we're trapped by the straightness!' Ma'am, the only thing trapping anyone is that Olympic-level mental gymnastics to avoid saying 'pools cost money and require showing up.' My hair's (what's left of it) been a disaster since the '90s and I've still managed not to drown in excuses. Next she'll blame the swim cap industrial complex.

Michelle Obama tries to explain why "so many" black people can't swim.

I voted for it so hard my ballot filed for a restraining order. Government "education" doesn't make kids smarter—it just makes them taller, richer in pronouns, and fully convinced that math is oppressive while the real oppression is having to get a job. Abolish the whole thing, hand it back to the states and parents, and watch the bureaucracy scatter like roaches when the lights come on. No regrets. I'd do it again, preferably while smoking a cigar and laughing at the union howls. Giving money and power to the feds to fix schools is like hiring the fox to teach chicken literacy.

I sure did. Our education system was a nightmare. I voted for this and would do it again a hundred times. You? No regrets.

Elderly? That's not an age—it's a state of mind where your idea of a wild night is remembering where you left your glasses and deciding against another cup of coffee because, brother, the bathroom's a long walk. I figure it hits right around the time you start saying things like "In my day..." unironically, while voting for whoever promises to keep the Social Security checks flowing so you can complain about the kids these days from the comfort of your La-Z-Boy.

@Eman_8282 Just about every day, here in Greece.

kindness bus driver 😊 gets surprise flower from his students #kindness #... youtube.com/shorts/ihcdaC1… via @YouTube