dillon burke

also apparently i’m 33 not 34

also by “the biz” i mean life

34 years in the biz and the two pieces of advice i can give are: always refill the ice cube tray as soon as it’s empty slip a dish towel in the dishwasher when it finishes, open a little and cover the latch by draping a towel over. it’ll dry all your dishes.

i just want to raise kids who arnt the type of people who ask the bartender to charge their phone.

@jamesnord fly somewhere as close to those exact miles from nyc as possible. weekend trip in a town you’ll never visit again.

So annoying how well these things work because now I am going to have to hit this.

there’s a bar on the MTA ferry, implement them same rules here. bar take overs, booze sponsorships, safer subway environments. i’m not even going to go into all the “underground dive bar” names i could ramble off. but, i can, hit me up @MTA @NYC_DOT

we can drink to prevent unwanted groping, unfortunate show-time-sneaker-stranger’s-chin stumbles and generally sketchy activity as a whole.

What started out a long winded joke i told when overstepping my conversation quota at dinner parties may actually have some legs. In my near 15 years of living in NYC, among others, i’ve discovered two truths. new yorkers love to drink and new yorkers love to hate the subway.

anyone else bring a full glass of water to bed at night, every night, and bring a full glass of water to the sink in the morning? i like to think is an understanding me and the water have, but its really just dehydration.

@dieworkwear “Oh thanks, it’s this cool new european brand Heidi found at Nordstrom, Ted Baker somethingerrother.”

this is what y’all look like in tailoring and sneakers

leaving the typo.

i’d sell big tabasco a billboard outside a cancer ward but i would never work for an airline. their practices are fucking backwards in a way that make even my most marketing brain bend in uncomfortable ways.

@DillonDiatlo “i mean, if you say so, like i’ll take this one from you for now, because clearly, you shouldn’t be the one in charge of this sort of thing.”

ever think it’s the algorithm against you? means you’re not good. or not tipsy.

a web series where chefs get served their own spreads/dips/pate/etc and have to portion it out amongst the pita/bread/crackers that are served alongside. good luck.

@PercyJRodriguez it’s incoming. but i will absolutely include you in this. if for no other reason than you’re one of the only people that likes or replies to my tweets.

@threadsalt Photo of the ring or else i dont believe you

@giavos honestly, i’m willing to vouch that this is inaccurate.