JJ sub-12 "Time Traveling Reporter"

I can't help but comment on the Hamas belly dancers. Maybe now that Trump runs the Kennedy Center, he'll invite them for a show.

I heard that Donald Trump decided to become a teddy bear. "It'll help me when it's time to escape to Venezuela." "But how will being a stuffed animal help?" "I won't have to pay alimony!" Hey, I'm not a stable genius. What do I know?

I heard that Trump & Vance bought tickets to a Taylor Swift concert. Trump put on extra orange facepaint, but Vance topped him by taking a couch along! Neither of them were invited backstage.

I heard that Donald Trump had actually decided to choose a fart for his vice president, but when he met JD Vance, he realized this kind of stink would never dissipate.

@nathaliejacoby1 God's gift to the insanity defense

Georgia Senate candidate Herschel Walker (R): "If we was ready for the green agenda, I'd raise my hand right now. But we're not ready right now ... What we need to do is keep having those gas-guzzling cars, 'cause we got the good emissions under those cars."

Herschel Walker tried to convince his lunch to have an abortion! He wanted the burger, but was scared the fries made him look gay when he sucked on them. General Washington just looked down from his monument and laughed.

What happens when you cross Donald Trump with a glob of green squishy snot? The snot tries to escape, but Melania deports them both to Slovenia, where the natives laugh at their accent.

I heard that Adolf Hitler often visits Putin in his dreams. "Why would I take advice from a loser like you?" Vlad tells him. "You already are."

I heard that Herschel Walker decided to debate a chicken. The chicken won. Donald Trump once got a speeding ticket while zooming thru Palm Beach on his motorized tricycle. He told the cops 29 women were chasing him, but he didn't know any of them. Jesus has left the building.

My 1st visit back since Twitter's new ownership. I wonder if & when Elon gets to Mars, whether "free speech" will be tolerated there? But I do hope the Pillow Guy decides to emigrate & the rest of the MAGA nutoids, too.

I heard that Trump is in a quandary trying to decide what 3rd rate dictatorship to flee to. Even N. Korea doesn't want him now. So he bought a ticket to Mars, with a vinyl love doll for company.

By 2020, the DEA wanted Tao Liu for his role aiding Xizhi Li build a money laundering empire that washed Latin American cartel cash via Chinese elites. In 2018, the FBI wanted to know why Liu was meeting with President Trump. We found they met twice: propublica.org/article/liu-ta…

Another dose of emotion. No more words needed 🥹 Liberated Novovoskresens'ke (Kherson Oblast) 🇺🇦🫡

@smc429 @POTUS 57.3% of Arkansans say they'll vote for her for Governor. 58.5% say they'll vote to legalize marijuana. You tell me....

@POTUS Where's hybrid?🤪

As I’ve said before, no one should be in jail just for using or possessing marijuana. Today, I’m taking steps to end our failed approach. Allow me to lay them out.

@PoliticusSarah Donald Trump recruited this bizarre idiot. I think it's Trump's pure racism to think that Black people in Georgia will vote for him. The Black voters will re-elect Raphael Warnock instead.

Herschel Walker just contradicted what he said this morning about the abortion story. His gaggle with reporters did not help his situation. Walker argued with reporters and claimed the Lt. Gov. of Georgia was a TV pundit. He doesn't know who the Lt. Gov. is.

Donald Trump recruited this bizarre idiot. I think it's Trump's pure racism to think that Black people in Georgia will vote for him. The Black voters will re-elect Raphael Warnock instead.

Nova Kakhovka an important objective as it’s at the head of the canal that supplies Ukraine’s Russian-occupied Crimea with lots of its water.

It gives me a chuckle to hear that the Supreme Court 6, who decided that all the women of America are just 19th century slaves, who can be locked up for not having babies, are just SHOCKED if the rest of us question their legitimacy.

I heard that Herschel Walker, after paying for his girlfriend's abortion, had a seance with the Devil. The Grand Fiend said "Herschel, I'm so proud of you! You lie more than Donald Trump!" "Trump doesn't have multiple personalities," Herschel reminded him." "How astute."