🔥This Is Not Fine🔥

Searched for "unicorn" on Amazon. I have not been disappointed.

@aureylian @HolyMan @kellykiewel Kevin was a rock and an incredible partner in work. I am so, so sorry to hear this. We worked on very difficult things together, and he approached them with grace and a relentless drive to do the right thing.

Content Notice: Bereavement In memory of our friend @HolyMan, from myself and @kellykiewel 🧡

@otakup0pe @somerled Also it's huge

@madebygoogle My pixel 6 pro order keeps getting cancelled and support is offline :(

#TeamPixel - Google Store is back online and ready for your #Pixel6 and Pixel 6 Pro pre-orders. We apologize about the issues earlier today. Visit Google Store here: goo.gle/3AU6ea5

Do you have a favorite "WOOSH!"? Let's take a look all the way back to when this signature recap move got its start, and where it's gone since. Have a nice warm up & stretch, prepare to throw those emotes in chat, and get ready to "WOOSH!" with us this Sunday! #RoW100

we do important work at my work

It's ROOTS TIME y'all! Sad to be missing in person, but can't wait for the next home game already! #KnowYourRoots

@ChrisFaithful49 @LeeOSanderlin This is absolutely the tamest thing the waffle house staff have ever seen. Especially after midnight.

I am coming to you live from a Brandon, Mississippi Waffle House. I, a total loser, came in last place in my fantasy football league. As punishment, I spend 24 hours in a Waffle House. Every waffle I eat shaves an hour off the clock. It’s 4:07 Central.

@Kerwin4two @LeeOSanderlin

@LeeOSanderlin Were the bushes scattered, covered or smothered?

Now that you mention it, it *is* a little weird that the president can unilaterally launch airstrikes overseas but struggles to get initiatives supported by 80% of Americans passed through Congress.

@mostlymartha As in a jazz cigarette?

Related: My mom will be the last person alive to use the word "doobie".

I like listening to tangy rock music from the late 70s and wonder which one I was conceived to.

Tonight's DnD quote: Is it even Dungeons & Dragons if there hasn't been a shopping scene?!

@DrLeslie_MD Wait, people getting vasectomies get anti-anxiety meds?

@devetangent @HyperfocusBree Justin.

In the middle of the Texas storm, @PlanoPoliceDept arrested high school senior Rodney Reese walking home from work. He had committed no crime, explained himself, but was held overnight. Basically arrested for “walking while Black.” The officers should face consequences.

@mostlymartha (but honestly I'm not sure underwires are coming back for me)

@mostlymartha I bought a Coming Out (of my house) ballgown months ago. I assume every event for at least the first three months will be a formal. My tiaras are ready.

There are going to be two kinds of people soon: sweatpants and ballgowns.

@Meinhart_BXL @CAwkward

@ohdottie @birthofvenus @jkap O M G

Oh wow. We just overheard a bunch of armor-plated paladins with horses (ha! horses! in a dinosaur jungle!) saying they've arrived to "cleanse the jungle" and "bring law and order" so, yeah, that's not going to happen.

It's a DnD night; our party is looking for transport into the jungle and has decided to rent dinosaurs. Obviously. The Wizard used his Influencer bargaining powers to get us two dinosaurs, three weeks, and all we have to do is carry these banners advertising the dino stable