Alan Partridge

214 posts

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Alan Partridge

Alan Partridge

@AlanPartirdge

Broadcaster at @NNDRadio, rambler, father, and just an all-round decent bloke. Parody, you say? Perhaps, I reply. But yes, I add, legally yes.

Norwich, England Beigetreten Ocak 2018
7 Folgt971 Follower
Alan Partridge
Alan Partridge@AlanPartirdge·
When we went to the Beeb with our pitch for How Are You?, these were EXACTLY the results we promised. Thanks, Wee Bald Al!
wee bald al@WeeAl79

@AlanPartirdge Your new series was beautiful Alan, didn’t help me mentally, but made me feel slightly better, about this horrible life.

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Alan Partridge
Alan Partridge@AlanPartirdge·
@djspeedy34 I’d be more than happy to wet my interviewing whistle for a cause so dear to my and my sponsors’ hearts!
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Hussey FM
Hussey FM@djspeedy34·
@AlanPartirdge Our local hospital radio is covering #MentalHealth Week and be great if you could do a short interview about your new tv series
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Alan Partridge
Alan Partridge@AlanPartirdge·
I once had the pleasure of attending one of Jane’s conservation fundraisers as Bill Oddie’s plus one, and I can safely say that I’ve never met a woman so militantly passionate about monkeys. She took umbrage when I referred to them as monkeys, of course, but when I asked her whether a chimp would sooner correct you on your simian nomenclature or tear your face off with its teeth, she soon quietened down. Love ya, Dame Jane!
Variety@Variety

Jane Goodall, the world’s foremost expert on chimpanzees whose work was captured in more than 40 documentaries, has died. She was 91. variety.com/2025/film/news…

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Alan Partridge
Alan Partridge@AlanPartirdge·
Although I can’t verify this with a photo (as I’m currently having my afternoon bath and reserve my right to remain decent), guys, I’m holding my hands up. My recent Cameo, request by one Jake Sugden and his schoolmates in Swaffham, was crass, insensitive and, let’s face it, just point-blank rude. I have since removed the video, extended a formal apology to the Travelling Community, and increased my fee from £36.95 to £89.90.
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Alan Partridge
Alan Partridge@AlanPartirdge·
Nailed it! Shappsy always nails it.
Rt Hon Sir Grant Shapps@grantshapps

Meet the UK’s first laser weapon: DragonFire UK military scientists have for the first time shot down drones by using the laser to cut through incoming targets at the speed of light. Capable of being fitted to future warships, it will be a vital British weapon as the threat of drone warfare grows. DragonFire is just one of the potentially revolutionary capabilities we’re investing in to gain an advantage against our enemies.

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Alan Partridge
Alan Partridge@AlanPartirdge·
@Halfalife @rickygervais It’s a tactic commonly employed by salesman, Scott — purposeful ocular tricks to draw the subconscious to the loins.
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Alan Partridge
Alan Partridge@AlanPartirdge·
I can only commend @rickygervais for his incessant adherence to the black top/trousers pairing. Sleek, svelte, and just a little bit sexy — he's like a modern Milk Tray Man! If — betrayed by an equatorial rim of middle-aged pudge — he'd started getting high on his own supply.
Ricky Gervais@rickygervais

Thanks for making #Armageddon The Number 1 Stand Up Special in The World

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Alan Partridge
Alan Partridge@AlanPartirdge·
If anyone at @ITV is available, I'd love to hire Holly's scriptwriter for 'Back Bellies with Alan Partridge': a series I'm developing about the struggle of men who, cresting forty, develop deposits of fatty tissue on their posterior belt-line. Looking for some real pathos here.
This Morning@thismorning

A message to you, from Holly.

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Alan Partridge
Alan Partridge@AlanPartirdge·
Just had my ear canals sucked dry at @BootsUK. They told me the wax had hardened so much, my ears were actually bleeding. I said not to worry — I'd just been listening to the new Calvin Harris/Ellie Goulding track on the drive in! It's nauseating. I mean, it actually upset me.
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Alan Partridge
Alan Partridge@AlanPartirdge·
When I worked with @Schofe at Our Price, he was a bit of a know-it-all and had a snotty-nosed quality about him. It was bullied out of him with off-air pranks, like having his shoes filled with piss, but he never talks about it. Phil: if you're reading this, why not send me a DM?
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Alan Partridge
Alan Partridge@AlanPartirdge·
@Tucker5law They can’t stomach bullies, Malc! Careful who you spite — your invite to Nigel’s next barndance-cum-fox-hunt might get lost in the Royal Mail waste paper basket.
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Alan Partridge
Alan Partridge@AlanPartirdge·
I would love to shake HRH's hand just to get a look at those fingers. They look like a newborn's legs. And those great big toenails on the ends of them. A biological anomaly, surely. They have to be.
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Alan Partridge
Alan Partridge@AlanPartirdge·
She's *re*volved, not *e*volved. Like a nice sherry. William's a lucky, lucky chap. Still, shame about the bum stuff. I could picture Kate wielding an impressive tool. I wouldn't, of course. Wouldn't think of that. Can't think of that. Kate with a willy.
Belle@RoyallyBelle_

Catherine’s evolution😍

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Alan Partridge
Alan Partridge@AlanPartirdge·
I’m sitting next to you, Rylan. What, you can wish Twitter a (notably-not-good) morning but not me? Everyone knows your name’s actually Ryan, by the way! Get real!
R Y L A N@Rylan

Morning x

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Alan Partridge
Alan Partridge@AlanPartirdge·
Some people say to me, "Alan, why do you tweet? Do you not think it's a waste of time? Nobody's reading what you're tweeting, Alan!" I tweet things because I have things to say! Sorry if that bothers you, Ian. Sorry no-one cares about your daughter's graduation pictures, Ian!
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Alan Partridge
Alan Partridge@AlanPartirdge·
My assistant will sometimes say to me, "Mr. Partridge, being such a prominent public figure, how do you deal with the choleric hatred you receive online? And it is choleric -- it really is." And I just laugh in her face! I hoot like an owl! Me! Ha! I really do laugh. Honestly.
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