Scarlett

Saw a hog of the earth in the yard

@vududash They let Biden in your attic and the USSS stationed at the ladder won't even confirm he's there, even though I l HEAR HIM! I think he was eating my insulation? I kept hearing a muffled voice talking about cotton candy... the USSS said it was just mice and they were exterminators

When I leave the US I think i'm gonna start grifting like those North Korean defectors and just start making shit up

Pussy doctor makes you strip and sit next to torture implement + pile of goop, and doesn't even have the courtesy to say "damn you're tight as fuckkkkk" as he slides it in

They took cranberry, they took pomegranate, they took blueberry, and cherry is on the chopping block. Is nothing sacred to redbull?

@camilleisacat Fuckkkkkk dude I spent my last dollar on getting fucked up to forget how broke and sad my life is

@Benzene_Queen Damn, need better find a good lawyer so she don't get you for alimony and child support

Barkeep just slid this ovre to me?? Happy hour isnt even over yet ... how am I supposed to drvie home and face my kids tonight????

@camilleisacat I can't face my family sober, I picked up a 5th of rum on the way home and drank myself into a stupor on the doorstep, she locked me out, I think divorce is on the horizon

@Benzene_Queen You should take your business elsewhere. Perhaps the bar on the next street

Source tells me Clavicular is stable. Please God Show more...

How am i supposed to go to this job interview when we still don't have an update on clav's condition.

@infinite_jaz The most mad libs ass sentence I've ever seen. But seriously, the kids are not alright.

@Iceking11111 One of the good ones

Braydens always get hate bruh🤣

@abbadoneye Wait I thought this said M*A*S*H shirt my bad

guy in my class last week went on this whole thing about how people always assume hes gay and then he comes into class today with a mesh shirt

Family guy comp older than half the people on this app youtu.be/olp_hlc4vhE?si…

No fucking way this is a real guy, cock burn, cialis, and bbc

Crazy that my second wife was probably born this year

Hasan Piker calls out TPUSA for not respecting Charlie Kirk's defense of free speech in trying to cancel his talk at Yale University "They're not carrying the flame"