Austin, we have a theory. ⚛︎ NOT @_Theory1

Yo bro, you stroking?

4 years ago today was one of Vince McMahon’s final RAW main event as Chairman of WWE The show closed with Bobby Lashley and Austin Theory in a pose off to end the night 😂 (2022)

woke up today thinking about how plankton has to watch porn on his wife

My Theory💪🏻 #TheoryMotivation

bottoming.

Austin Theory

Logan Paul told Austin Theory about his torn triceps in the middle of the match 💭

when i erase a word with a pencil where does it go

My balls smell so good after the gym

TOTAL CHAOS and @WWERollins STILL kicks out!!!!

Some people learn by listening. The Vision learns by winning. #WWEClash

See, everybody thinks Logan being hurt is supposed to slow us down. That's what the Profits think, but that's because they're looking at The Vision all wrong. They see one guy missing and think the whole machine stops working. We still run Monday Night #WWERaw.

That's cute. That's real cute. But here's a little life lesson: if you're gonna put my partner's name in your mouth, don't be surprised when I put a chair in your back. Oh wait, that’s exactly what I did!

You know what's funny? Everybody's acting shocked about what happened last week. Like they couldn't believe Austin Theory snapped. Really? Have you not been paying attention? @ApplaudMyEncore wants to stand in the middle of the ring singing songs about @HumbleUpHaters.

Currently putting this to good use. I love bed rest. 😈