Callum Lyon

"When I was your age I owned my own house" Shut the fuck up Pauline they cost about 6 grand back then you fucking fossil.

The year is 2030 fuel is £28 a litre, Freddo's are now £12, the cheapest houses are now £800k, the retirement age is now 90, a full time job is now 80 hours a week, minimum wage has only gone up 86p, pints costs at least £18 and they're still doing roadworks on the fucking motorway.

I don't know who's controlling the weather in The UK but they 100% have it on shuffle.

Welcome to the UK where you can have sun, rain, hail, snow and then clear skies again, all while on your break at work.

“Why don’t people just save more money?” Because there’s nothing left to save. After rent, bills, food and transport most people are left with a small amount that disappears the second life happens. And the worst part? People who saved in a completely different economy are now giving advice like nothing’s changed.

Being single right now is financially brutal. Everything is designed for two incomes: Split rent. Split bills. Split pressure. But if you’re on your own? You’re paying full price for everything on one income that hasn’t kept up with anything. And people wonder why so many are stuck at home, broke or constantly stressed.

@TateTheTalisman 1998 curby champion on my street, can run faster in my new shoes and I can get trolleys out at Morrisons with my key instead of paying a quid.

I’m hiring. Won’t give the job description. Post underneath why you think you’re qualified to work for me. 2 positions available.

Fuel prices so high I'm considering cutting a hole in the floor of my car and doing a Fred Flintstone.

If fuel ever goes under £1 a litre again I'm putting some in the freezer

I hope the clocks go forward to when I've sorted my life out because it's taking forever and I cba waiting.

Working a full time job used to mean something. It meant stability. It meant security. It meant you could actually build a life. Now it just means you’re overworked and still broke. You wake up early. Work all day. Come home exhausted and somehow you’re still checking your bank account before doing anything. Rent takes most of it. Bills take the rest. Food just finishes you off. And at the end of the month? Nothing left. But yeah… apparently we’re just lazy.

The retirement age needs to be lowered to about 35, I'm tired, my back hurts and I've had enough.

Welcome to The UK where there's roadworks on every road and motorway everywhere you go forever.

Didn't buy a coffee today so I should be able to afford a house any day now.

£90 to fill up my car but it's £28 to fly to Ibiza.

Deleting my Call Of Duty account so the Army don't see my true potential and I don’t get drafted.

I think we need to talk more about how it's cheaper to leave The UK for a holiday than stay here for one. How is a log cabin where I can still see the fucking motorway more expensive than going on an all inclusive to Spain for a week?

Did anyone else tell themselves they would sort their lives out this year but we're now entering the third month and you've achieved absolutely nothing and if anything made it worse?