Cat Thug Life

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Cat Thug Life

Cat Thug Life

@CatThugLife

I didn't choose the thug life. My mom picked it out for me. It was on sale. Thanks mom!

Beigetreten Aralık 2012
19 Folgt941 Follower
Cat Thug Life
Cat Thug Life@CatThugLife·
"I'd like to buy this condom please." "Sir... that's a sleeping bag," she says as I wink at her AND that's how I impressed the hot cashier
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Cat Thug Life
Cat Thug Life@CatThugLife·
How to get seduce women: Make the McDonald's girl eat a McDouble with you like when people buy shots for hot bartenders
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Cat Thug Life
Cat Thug Life@CatThugLife·
"is Pepsi ok?" (my drug dealer, trying to be funny)
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Cat Thug Life
Cat Thug Life@CatThugLife·
Nicki, I already told u my anaconda don't want none unless u got snake food! You keep feeding him buns and now the carbs are making him fat
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Cat Thug Life
Cat Thug Life@CatThugLife·
Girls say I'm like a cat during sex because I hiss at them when I get uncomfortable and I leave behind small fur balls when I'm finished
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Cat Thug Life
Cat Thug Life@CatThugLife·
Sometimes in the car I pretend I'm a cat and run over a few people before driving off a bridge and die in the water
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Cat Thug Life
Cat Thug Life@CatThugLife·
You know my self-esteem is low when a girl rejects me and I completely agree with her and support her decision
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Cat Thug Life
Cat Thug Life@CatThugLife·
When I take my shirt off, I hope girls that see the scratches on my back assume I'm great in bed and not that I enjoy giving cats piggybacks
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Cat Thug Life
Cat Thug Life@CatThugLife·
"A gripping tale of love and survival" is how one reviewer described me falling down the stairs with my cat
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Cat Thug Life
Cat Thug Life@CatThugLife·
How do you know you're allergic to cats if you've never ate one?
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Cat Thug Life
Cat Thug Life@CatThugLife·
Lighten up your Walmart experience by asking where the toilet paper is when using a change room. If the employee laughs, ask for the manger
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Cat Thug Life
Cat Thug Life@CatThugLife·
*I arrive at the vet with my washing machine* "Hold tight Snuggles... WAIT! If u r here then..." *cat is at home with mouth full of laundry*
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Cat Thug Life
Cat Thug Life@CatThugLife·
What I called "the night of drinking when I almost died" in first year is now called "Wednesdays" in second year
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Cat Thug Life
Cat Thug Life@CatThugLife·
Whoever said money can't buy happiness, was probably shopping at Walmart
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Cat Thug Life
Cat Thug Life@CatThugLife·
Hey china, it's easy to have genius kids when you kill all of the other ones
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Cat Thug Life
Cat Thug Life@CatThugLife·
Why make university the best 4 years of my life when it can be 5. #failing
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Cat Thug Life
Cat Thug Life@CatThugLife·
I like to think of myself as I kind person. I always hold the door open for women.... but they never get in the van.
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Cat Thug Life
Cat Thug Life@CatThugLife·
Sorry I'm late for class, my pet rock had a seizure
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Cat Thug Life
Cat Thug Life@CatThugLife·
Lost my virginity... my dog, His name is Virginity.
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Cat Thug Life
Cat Thug Life@CatThugLife·
I'm that guy that wears 4 layers of shirts to strip poker
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