NeoChemLeo

Why is there a special category of entitled for men that have read IT

I don't know how to explain but I just had 2 very separate but important facts about Steven Carrell 1. He's a trans masc icon 2. Gru was definitely modeled after him a little bit

“A vampire!” - my brother, pointing at a statue of Jesus Christ

*tosses antidepressant into mouth like you do with popcorn*

get you a girlfriend that lets bugs bite her for no reason

@slimeratz currently thinking about Mac Demarco putting a cigarette in his tooth gap and wanted to share the thought with u

I'm high and just watched an ad for "a quiet place" (not realizing it was muted) and was like, wow, this is a bold marketing choice

I think the main draw of Weezer is that they never stopped sounding a little bit shitty

last night I had a dream I was putting on a webcast that was both iCarly and the Eric Andre show and that's when I realized they're essentially the same thing

just learned what a Ponzi scheme is and I think I'm in love

the irony of skipping a class on better decision making

Ah, the sweet sound of the tone of dismissal only saved for weird kids trying to volunteer information in a group discussion

Just got my first Get Sexier vaccine

*eats jar of vodka sauce like it's soup*

“What’s my diagnosis again? BPD? Damn, are you sure you don’t just wanna spend more time with me bc I’m sexy?”

Yesterday, my girlfriend ran a half marathon and I was the band at a bearded dragon wedding. Guess which one of us slept longer.

Secret Third Coming Out Option: tell people you're trans but nothing about your gender assigned at birth

If you have or have ever had a crush on me: congratulations, you're queer

Premonition Derby