DeFi Battle retweetet
Like everyone else in the world I was wondering how tf @mert happened for Solana, like how do you get a world class techie and shitposter to vigilantly defend you against what was the entire internet at one point fudding and fading you?
I mean he must be the one present that every ecosystem builder will dream of having this xmas. if aptos had a mert they would 20x their supporter base easy.
After a lot of effort, i finally figured how it happened and here's the result of my research. This research was quite intense so I hope you will like and rt it, it would help support my future work.
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The Legend Of Xmas Mert
Last Xmas, Toly was sitting at the fireplace feeling a bit 😔 about all the fud that the internet are slinging about solana. Some of it is fair, but most of it is just nasty and wrong and it’s impossible for any mortal to have the capacity to tackle the relentless onslaught without some help from the solars.
It was a cloudy night, reflecting the moods of the solana ecosystem.
Out of the sudden, the clouds separated, and crypto santa boomed out of the clouds on his reindeer decked lambo from the bloodmoon (stained by the blood leaked by the vampire sam on his very short stay there).
*historically accurate representation
He slided down the chimmy like the sexy mf he is, and boomed at toly: “GOOD NEWS Toly. You have been a really good boy this year despite all the shit. Those people on the internet have been really really bad boys jumping on your ass with zero research just for magic internet candy points with their hiveminds”
Shocked at the presence of cSanta, but used to anything by now (I mean, ftx just happened), Toly looked up at cSanta with and went “yes santa, I’ve been trying really hard but im not sure what I can do. I’m already on fighting fires and on Twitter 24/7 and I’m not sure what else more i can do”
cSanta said “don’t worry fam I got ya” and pulled out a shiny bald mert from the passenger seat and handed him to Toly “Take this - this is a legendary baby Canadian Mert, one of its kind, only for the the best boys of all”
Toly gawked in wonder as he received baby mert. It was quite a thing, small, but already fiery and brimming with a certain intensity he has never seen before.
cSanta continued “he’s only a small Mert now but within the year will grow into the most formidable firebreathing dragon in the whole CT, loved by some, feared by all, avoided by baddies."
"He shall vigilantly scan the expansive sky’s day and night, not just replying, but becoming THE reply guy. Fud shall be eliminated, mistakes will be corrected, sometimes politely, sometimes annoyingly but never wrongly. All who read his replies should be enlighted.”
"By the end of the year. all shall be educated, a new generation of shitposters and reply guys for Solana will have been inspired and empowered, and all but the blindest maxis of them all shall see the light"
Toly could not believe his amazing xmas present and asked “that sounds too good to be true, guess dreams do come true, is there anything I need to do for him?”
cSanta said “nah fam just feed him likes, RTs and polish that head now and then, merts are incredibly resilient and self sufficient.”
“Anyway, by next year, the whole world will see. just chill and do your thing and let mert do his. Here’s a bonus dragon costume for you as well”
Toly said “wow this dragon costume is fire. hopefully i get a chance to wear it. I dunno how I can thank you, is there anything bad that will happen this year that i should know about.”
cSanta said “nah fam, all will be good, just a lot of network issues and haters but all good, part of the learning process and you guys will be much better for it. you will learn to overcome issues, stay grounded and laugh at yourself. All good brah. oh, your time to wear the costume will come.”
Then something hit cSanta and he suddenly looked very concerned.
“But oh there’s gonna be a super annoying thing”
Toly: “what?”
cSanta: “Twitter is gonna be renamed X and tweets called posts”
Toly: “WTFFFFFFFF”
cSanta: “yeh. sorry fam, we just gonna swallow it. elon gonna elon. he runs the matrix, we just live in it”
*the emergence of the legendary mert
English
