Baseball Dad

@Ardor Addy ran the bar and they shut that shit down Keith locked up and went home it’s pissing down apparently message you Sunday because Fee and Dave are gonna take the cars back. Call you tomorrow Kidd

@Jassmini2 Pathological?

@Ardor You’re a fucking menace. Pick me up in 15.

@Ardor Fucking menace.

7.4 seconds on the QM tonight at 154.8 kph 💋

Pete Alonso is underrated.

“Baseball is 90% mental.” Also Coach: Causes 90% of the mental breakdowns.

“It’s not about stats.” Unless the stats make Coach look good.

Coach: “Be coachable.” Also Coach: Ignores any suggestion that isn’t his own.

“Everyone plays.” As long as your name is on the “approved” list.

Coach: “It’s about the team.” Also Coach: Only praises the 2 kids he recruited.

“No politics on this team.” Unless you’re a coach’s favorite. Then it’s game over, peasants.

Coach: “Be respectful.” Also Coach: Mocks players under his breath when they strike out.

Coach thinks wearing Oakleys and chewing gum equals strategy.

Coach says “everyone gets a fair shot.” Also Coach: Only lets 3 kids touch the ball all season.

Coach benches your kid to “send a message.” Message received: you’re petty.

Coach calls every loss a “learning opportunity,” but somehow learns nothing himself.

Coach: “We don’t talk back.” Also Coach: Yells at teens like he’s in a war movie.

Coach says “no drama” then causes 90% of it.

“You’ve gotta EARN your spot.” Translation: “You’re not friends with my kid.”

Coach told me my kid needed more “intangibles.” What he meant was a dad with a corporate expense account.