@Faxxmel You're good twin, even tho I hate your character you're a good guy at heart.
Don't take what others may throw at you or what negativity you hold against yourself accountable oomf
I think the first step to change is accepting that you're wrong, that you're the bad guy. I've already done that, and honestly, I'm eagerly awaiting the day I can look in the mirror and think, "Hey, everything you did was worth it. Look at the man you are. I'm proud of you."
Even with everything I do to "improve," I still have that feeling, that thorn in my heart that tells me that the damage I've already done can never be undone, no matter how small it was or how hard I try; what's done is done.