AndyRich GrayKeys

Vardy will miss the #ENGvAUS game to get married, therefore giving him a chance to practice playing in the hole below the two up front.

@GinaLyons alright.

Not sure that yellow card will hang around Akinfenwa's neck what with him not having one. #afcwimbledonvsliverpool

The inside of England shirts are lined with a special serum that makes it impossible to recreate your club form #fact #EngvDen

I don't think Man Utd could even beat Paralympiakos.

Can't wait for the real #WorldCupDraw where punters find if their stadium seat has a valid safety certificate

Paolo Di Can'tio

Best thing Lambert's done since Highlander.

NEWS: Wayne Rooney 'not for sale'. In other news, Wayne Rooney is not for sale and rumours suggesting tomorrow Wayne Rooney is not for sale.

Dear Spain. No you can't have your football back, or have any more Euros. Love & kisses, Germany.

The final nail in Thatcher's coffin was being told she wasn't right wing enough to manage Sunderland.

'Are you Blackburn Rovers' quiz! Q: Have you had more managers this season than away wins? A: Yes? Congrats! You're #BRFC! Have a nugget.

We're guessing Hazard was sent off because the ball boy was still moving when he took the kick.

Off to determine the positions in my insect football team. BRB.

Those of you who think Manchester's Arndale centre is 'tacky', soak up this commissioned artwork and think again.

Stewart Downing there, putting the ass into assist.

Chelsea have signed Moses, so now they should Come Forth. (c/o @jamesecook)

I imagine there are many men who would love to vandalise Jessica Ennis's postbox.

Is the 70 sheep in the opening ceremony some sort of thank you for allowing the Welsh players into GB's football team?

Ashleep Young.