Humanzee

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Humanzee

Humanzee

@HumanzeesUncle

Proud Husband, Father, Texan/w Norseman blood. I like humor, science, and nature. I would offer you a penny for your thoughts, but they don’t make them anymore.

Texas, USA Beigetreten Nisan 2022
9.4K Folgt10.5K Follower
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Humanzee
Humanzee@HumanzeesUncle·
“I can't stand in line at the store The mean little people are such a bore But it's all right if you act like a turd 'Cause I like Birds” - Mark O. Everett
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Humanzee
Humanzee@HumanzeesUncle·
Your dog sees you as some type of god and looks up to you. Your cat sees you as some type of deformed retarded cat and is waiting for you to die so it can eat your face.
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Humanzee
Humanzee@HumanzeesUncle·
Horrible business plan, customers only come in once and never again for some reason.
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Humanzee
Humanzee@HumanzeesUncle·
What's the deal with that escape artist ice cube? You know, the one that misses the glass and ends up melting under the fridge.
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Humanzee
Humanzee@HumanzeesUncle·
So we are just going to skip leg day and go right into power plant and bridge day.
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Humanzee
Humanzee@HumanzeesUncle·
My life goal is to make it through the Artemis missions without stepping in “FlatEarth 𝕏.”
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TheLizVariant
TheLizVariant@TheLizVariant·
Not one word of this do I understand but Im laughing with her anyway. 🤣🤣🤣😭😭 ☠️
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Humanzee
Humanzee@HumanzeesUncle·
The real question for Japanese 𝕏
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Humanzee
Humanzee@HumanzeesUncle·
@alphafox Not yet, but I hear Pfizer is working on a vaccine.
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AlphaFox
AlphaFox@alphafox·
Have you ever died of dysentery?
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Humanzee
Humanzee@HumanzeesUncle·
@akafaceUS For there to be a rebirth, there must first be a death.
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aka
aka@akafaceUS·
Happy Easter 😂
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Humanzee
Humanzee@HumanzeesUncle·
Sorry Japan. Peanuts in Coke = kidney stones.
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Humanzee
Humanzee@HumanzeesUncle·
@DrClownPhD Orbital gravitational braking maneuver.
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Dr. Clown, PhD
Dr. Clown, PhD@DrClownPhD·
What's the name of this body shape!? 😬
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Anticommie
Anticommie@QueenAnticommie·
Why does he thinks this looks good… he’s so proud of this 😂
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Denise 🇺🇸
Denise 🇺🇸@NoDMsPerfavore·
How is her shirt staying in place?! 🤣
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Humanzee
Humanzee@HumanzeesUncle·
@brockpierson You should immigrate to the U.S. That’s literally in our bill of rights.
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⭕ Brock Pierson
⭕ Brock Pierson@brockpierson·
Do you believe your followers are seeing your posts?
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Humanzee
Humanzee@HumanzeesUncle·
Support your local bands. Ghostland Observatory.
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Amelia
Amelia@Amelia558rs·
What do you call someone that lies all the time?
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Humanzee
Humanzee@HumanzeesUncle·
@brockpierson I’ve blocked the memories from this period of my life.
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⭕ Brock Pierson
⭕ Brock Pierson@brockpierson·
Who remembers Paperboy on NES?
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