I Have To Poop

My mom has been congratulating me on every poop I've taken since 1983 and I'm a walking ball of confidence.

Thinking of becoming a lesbian because I'm sick of pooping real poop I'd rather poop glitter rainbows.

Wow this poop came out flawlessly and smooth

You ever stand up quickly to try and get away from a painful deuce? #poop

RT @kerri_cloninger: I have to poop.

Boss seems to think I spend too much time in the bathroom...

RT @nfatout: Woke up this morning with no poop in my butt. Gonna be a good day.

The guy in the stall next to me sounds like he is throwing mashed potatoes against the wall. #gross

Pretty sure that's not just a fart... #poop #emergency

Just took a huge ass poop. #feelsgood

RT @delaniflannagan: Got to take the biggest poop right now 😁😰💩💩

RT @the_gingerhawk: I have to poop so bad. 😖

The guy in the stall next to me just sneeze-farted. #awkward

I have to poop.