Jeff Strand 🍅

Critics say YOUR BODY WILL NEVER BE FOUND is "a great big warm hug for your soul." Pre-order the feel-good book of the summer today! amazon.com/Your-Body-Will…

You thought I’d denounced black licorice ice cream. You were WRONG!!!

“RIP” Chuck Norris, who faked his death to give his enemies a false sense of security.

About to see Undertone…..ALONE!!! 😱

The new Michael McBride novel is still only 99 cents...but not for much longer! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry, you fools! amazon.com/dp/B0GSJL9X99/

You’d better be wearing green today!

Not gonna lie--these new "We recognize that the contemporary Whopper was dogshit, and our mascot is nightmare fuel, but we've fixed it!" commercials are successfully making me want to go back to Burger King.

I didn't see Marty Supreme, Hamnet, The Secret Agent, Frankenstein, Train Dreams, or Sentimental Value; therefore, none of them are worthy of Oscars tonight!

All right…let’s do this!!!

All right…let’s do this!!!

When in Iowa… #PorkTenderloin

Mr. Poopybutthole has spoken!!!

SURVIVOR 50 premiere. Way more deaths than I was expecting.

I suppose I’m ready for SURVIVOR 50 tonight.

The latest issue of Bridgett Nelson's newsletter is out! If you're not a subscriber, you can check it out here! bridgettnelson.substack.com/p/dont-let-kar…?

"Trump Surprises Critics With Eloquent, Inspiring State of the Union Speech!" -- Headline we definitely will not be seeing.

Today is the day! Lime Slush Alani, which I’ve been looking forward to for months, is available today! And…………..it kinda sucks!

Eeek!!!

All set for tonight’s early screening of ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES: ORGANIC INTELLIGENCE!

Flying for the first time in six years! Save some room in Los Angeles for me!

Happy Presidents In General But Notably Excluding The Current One Day!