Katie Alender

Yesterday I told my 9-y.o. daughter that I dedicated "Marie Antoinette, Serial Killer" to her and she was like, "You dedicated a book about a murderer to me?" and I was like, "Uhhhh what other options do I have?"

It is a truth universally acknowledged that when you invent an entire Instacart order just to get the one thing you really care about, that one thing will be out of stock, no matter how weird it is that the store is out of, say, ALL 20-oz. diet sodas. 😭

@98kala Thank you, but please don't. 🤣

@KatieAlender I would do unspeakable things for a new book by you. That’s all 😭🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

I'm not mad at Past Katie for not buying me candy; I'm just disappointed in her.

@MardiaMumt63832 I didn't see your email so I sent you one!

@KatieAlender Yes! I just sent you one.😁

@KatieAlender I am really sorry if I'm bothering you if you see this and the other massages, and you don't want to reply, please like this one, so I know that you have seen them at least. I will eagerly wait for your response!😊🤩

One of the sweetest feelings in the world is when you pick up a random drawing your kids have made and admire the stars, hearts, unicorns, etc., and then you notice that they've written "MOM" on it. 💕 My heart melts every time.

@MardiaMumt63832 Hi! I'm not usually, but I happened to check in just now! What's up?

@KatieAlender Hey! I am 13 and a HUGE fan of yours, and I just have a question. I'm just wondering if you are active on account. (I won't be annoying or ask something personal)

Lately I've reminisced about the day a friend sat with me at the mall for seven hours to buy the first iPhone (and she didn't even want one!). And the joyful memory is waiting at the mall for seven hours, laughing and making friends, and not at all the fact that I got an iPhone.

@watchdutyapp When the county sends out an alert, I check Watch Duty before reacting. Amazing how seamless and effective your platform has been.

When we say “Watch Duty is built for first responders”, that’s not marketing. That’s our mission and a promise.

In a way, it's like the last memory from a bygone era.

IS THIS A JOKE TO YOU PEOPLE

It's kind of nice when the front cars in BOTH lanes are looking at their phones and ignoring the green light, because then you can honk without worrying about hurting the wrong person's feelings.

@TiffaniAlia I googled it a couple of months ago and the explanation was like, they both knew they couldn't be happy and meld their lifestyles, and I'm like... that's not a good enough answer!

This reminds me to once again remark on how weird it was that they can't be together at the end of the movie. At least TRY for heaven's sake.

@AngeliqueHRH Thank you so much for this kind, encouraging message! ❤️

I'll forever be a YA fiction fan. I picked up Bad Girls Don't Die by @KatieAlender. Alexis Warren is FUNNY (I've just started chapter 5), which means Katie is, too. I picked it up on a whim, loved the summary on it, & the 1st sentence caused me to cough up cash. Money well spent.

@Privatefox1968 Yes!

@KatieAlender Are you writing any books currently?

@aimeefriedman She's dead, but yes.

@aimeefriedman Peppa Pig!

I know two tweets in one night is excessive, but I just discovered Gmail's scheduled send feature, and it has already changed my life.

Why do all kitchen trash bags smell like Satan's favorite perfume these days? Can't they just smell like plastic? Like someone's going to walk into your house when you have two-day-old fish packaging in your trash and be like, "Ooh, fresh citrus and lavender!"