kryptic

the return of kryptic.

no one is a virgin..life screws us all

@DazeDreamz @yoxics have u hit global elite 2 yet with that 400 ping?

@yoxics Thanks to jynxzi if it weren't for him i wouldn't have selled my wife to get internet connection for counter strik

Lacy gives props to Jynxzi for being the only Streamer who has single handedly revived multiple video games 👀🔥 - Rainbow Six Siege - Clash Royale - Rocket League - Counter-Strike 2 - Apex Legends

@MorphLRT @SWIZxp @SWIZxp

RT @Cadillac_F1: The mission begins now. Introducing Cadillac Formula 1 ® Team’s first livery. Our season kicks off March 7th streaming on…

@KingTerrbear bears, cavs, and michigan? what kinda combination

Bears finally good in my lifetime and we gotta win prolly 12 games to secure a 7 seed in this conference.

@Team__Spirit @donk1337 hi donk

say hi to @donk1337 or have a horrible november

@LemmySmackett @DailyLoud i want what this guys on

"Hey man, you see this? NASA says there's a second moon." "A second moon?" "Yeah, we get to keep it until 2083." "Cap. Fake news." "What?" "AI bullshit." "It's not AI bullshit! I'm looking at the headline right now." "Yeah? What's the source?" "RealAssNews—" "Sounds credible." "—4RealAssAutists." "Mhm." "Hey! They keep me up-to-date with insightful geo-economic analysis, the latest on political assassinations—" "Uh huh, uh huh." "And nobody knows the SpongeBob TCG meta better." "I bet." "Speaking of: a donoso-cortesian spenglerian they/them enby cat-thing cyber-positivist (and Patrick Star rushdown player) fell in love with the Sandy Cheeks AI running the dual-bay Ninja air fryer in his/her/their kitchen and shot the Governor of—" "There's no second moon." "Wait, you don't want to hear who got shot?" "Bro, the world doesn't stop for every rent-seeking corporate-captured apparatchik in a cheap Brooks Brothers suit who gets his head blown off in a Denny's." "I mean, it does for the apparatchik..." "There's no second moon." "How can you say that?" "Okay, let's play. If I go outside, am I going to see it?" "Well, no." "There ya go." "But that's because it's 2 in the afternoon." "Okay. If I go out tonight, will I see it?" "No." "There ya go." "But that's because it's too small and too far away!" "Convenient! And whose gonna take it from us huh?" "Take what from us?" "You said we get to keep it until 2083." "Yeah." "Which implies someone or some𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 will take it away." "That's not—" "And, mind you, that 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 brought it." "It's an asteroid, bro. I don't think anyone 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 it. I think it just showed up." "Even more convenient! So you have no evidence, no suspect, a moon that appears out of the wisps of the mystic aether, and your source is RealAssNews4RealAssAutists." "Okay, Columbo. Here's a video. Look." "Generated by AI." "What? You haven't even watched it." "I can tell by the pixels." "Fine, here's an orbital diagram from NASA." "Also generated by AI." "Man—" "And how do you know it's from NASA anyway? Did a member of NASA hand it to you personally?" "Alright you ignostic solipsistic asshole! What do you want from me?" "Nothing." "Nothing?" "You're the one trying to get 𝘮𝘦 to believe in a second moon." "I'm not—" "Will my life change for the better if I believe in the second moon?" "Well, no." "Will it change for the worse?" "Probably not." "So what could you possibly hope to achieve with this insipid exchange except a transparent attempt to undermine my grasp on reality." "Your grasp on reality? Bro, I'm just trying to share a headline." "And you're doing the devil's work in the process." "Man, come on." "Listen: the information environment is poisoned. Adversarial. State-funded actors and egomaniacal sociopaths pollute the commons with falsehoods and disinformation. Everything you read and see on that phone—every headline, every post, every video—is just another drop in the ceaseless torrential psyop acid bath designed to wash away our senses, deaden our reason, and fatten our heads with brainrot for the inevitable AI-driven posthuman global slaughter." "Uh huh." "It's called CogSec, alright? And if you don't develop some, you're gonna get taken like the chump you are." "Sooo I'm guessing you don't want to hear anymore headlines, then?" "Nah, hit me." "Really?" "My brains wrapped in psychic kevlar. I'm like a mental fucking fortress." "Alright, uh, Oh. This one's kind of boring. Some people claim Drake went out and got fake BBL abs in a back alley in São Paulo." "Nah bro, that shit's real." "..." "I've seen it."

BREAKING: NASA confirms that Earth now has two moons until 2083!

@kryptic gimme ur username

@DearS_o_n Bouta blow my head smoove off

havent played cod for 7 fuckin months and bo7 thinks im simp or something with these fucking lobbies

im like 95% sure my coworker called off to play the cod beta bro

beta day

@K1llaGh0st @swagchecked vouch that shits goated

@swagchecked Have u seen solo leveling

any anime recommendations preferably shorter ones so i can speedrun many at once

@MorphLRT @Grihmey cs players still eat glue

@Stuhni why does every controller esport think they can be a cod pro

The average Apex Legends pro CLEARS the average Call of Duty pro, change my mind

@ItzAurasX still pissed

@Krypt1c_COD ahhh you have learned young one

dont show bitches love they hate that shit

@swizgodd @AnimexTwts season 1 was peak season 2 was good seasons 3 and 4 just confused the fuck outta me lowk and the end pissed me off

@Krypt1c_COD @AnimexTwts stfu

Name that anime:

@arturhardtokill @Ozzny_CS2 great map but i feel like its been played so much its not as entertaining anymore

The IEM Cologne Arena picked which maps to remove and add to CS2 ‼️ Did they cook? 👀