Lil Bit 🌈

oh shit. i'm at a doctors appointment, and i legit forgot to take the sugar glider out of my sports bra. let's hope she stays asleep!!!

i don’t know how to explain this but my vibe is Karen Wheeler + Derek

Follow me on Instagram for parenting tales, jokes, pictures, reels, and more. I’m barely on twitter anymore because it’s a nazi hellscape these days. instagram.com/lizerreal?igsh…

The bar for 2026 is so low it’s basically a speed bump

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Years to watch 2025 DIE

My 11yo was watching a Stranger Things youtube quiz that asked "what makes the viewer suspect that the mayor in season 3 is corrupt?" And she shouted out "because he works in the government!" She’s not wrong 😭

@p_summerland Wow this blew up when I wasn’t looking lol

@LizerReal Hey girl, Merry Christmas 🎁🎄 miss you 😘

My daughter was mad at me and yelled “I’m gonna spend the day in my room and you’ll be ALL ALONE all day!” And that just isn’t the threat she thinks it is

I talk to my dogs out loud and have them respond to me in their little puppy voices. This is completely normal!

[About the new foster dog] Me: I think he's about 6 or 7 years. My Gen Z kids: *grins* Me: Don't.

Explaining the miracle of salmon spawning to my spawn

Oh no, it looks like I’ve had a little too much to think

1. Open fridge. Nothing to eat. 2. Open cabinets. Nothing to eat. 3. Lower standards and repeat.

At this point I’m pretty sure I was born a hot mess.

@deloisivete Make them fight. It’s the only answer.

Ordered my kids food from two different places and the drivers are about to arrive at the same time, and why does this feel so embarrassing

Me: *screams into the void* Spirit Halloween: *screams back*

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary so I can relax