Mike Masterson

life if blue raspberrys were real

ALSO. Play El Sonidito. Or else.

@jtkantor PLEASE play Este by El Alfa at the game right now.

Don't talk about it, be about it.... let's party all night, dale mami

This is how I talk about my friend Hayden

@mosherski @jerseymikes Great choice. One of my all time favorites

@MasterMikeson @jerseymikes You are correct. Club sub ftw

Telling the homies about my sandwich I got @jerseymikes #yoooo!!

@TedSchumer Arent you with your brother?

Last night….absolute movie.

@wideload22 DUDE…..😩😏

soooo i guess the M&Ms are all gay and obese now? it turns out "M and M" stands for "Mike Masterson" 🫵🤣 @MasterMikeson #MyCrazyGroupOfFriends

@mosherski Hamms

Budweiser is objectively cooler and also better tasting than every other beer in its category, in my opinion

@mosherski Different types of cool

@MasterMikeson Tecate is cooler

Modelo is a gross beer sorry

God gives his toughest trees to his drunkest drivers

@snackdad3000 @kerrycun No need to bring the lord into this

happy 30th anniversary of abba's gold album to all who celebrate

Kinda looks like @TedSchumer

@mosherski Why would anyone give her the hammer

Back when I had my swag

i wasnt paying those loans anyways!!! fuck you!!!