Mike Topp

My favorite movie

@john45951973953 @MikeTopp 'And it feels like a kiss!" "Does that make me a member now?-- of Kiss Vince's Ass Club?" "Where's my Roy? Where's-- I'll ring th'bell!"

john cassavetes in mikey and nicky (1976)

@ingredientses Gus (white) and Bee (black)

@MikeTopp 🥹 what are their names

Me and my little doggies (yes, I wear pajamas)

@RaymondPettibon @chaoscott Who threw out the first golf ball at Nixon’s funeral?

@chaoscott 🤡: I'll toss in the first ball.

I hope "March Madness" is heavy on the madness part🏀🤪

12% of the population are habitual liars.

“Hiroshima and Nagasaki were fine, weren’t they?”

King Midas had the magical ability to turn everything he touched into gold. Eventually he starved to death, because one cannot eat gold. Something similar is happening to Donald J. Trump. #TrumpPedófilo #trumpsstateofdelusion #trumpaffordabilitychaos

@YoKenKeye @MikeTopp ✌️Basquiat was a big fan of the hobo signs “Nothing to be gained here”

@MikeTopp put the hammer down on that growth with AI, screaming through the corners of growth with AI, the cops will let you ride high on that growth with AI

The Afroman Trial. -Cops raid Afromans house for bullshit reasons. -Steal money, break his door, fuck his house up. -No criminality found whatsoever, no charges at all pressed on Afroman. -Afroman spends the next 3 years making songs that make fun of all the officers involved by name, even using footage of the raid from his own CCTV cameras. -Songs had titles like "Randy Walters is a son of a bitch" and "Lick Em Low Lisa" accusing one of the officers of being a lesbian and sleeping with the other officers wives. -During the raid one officer looked like he was about to eat some lemon pound cake sitting on Afromans counter, Afroman made a whole album calling the officer fat. -The cops get mad and file a lawsuit for defamation. -Afroman turns up to court in a whole American flag suit. -Officers performatively mald and cry while listening to the songs really trying to oversell how badly the songs upset them. -One officer was suing because Afroman made a whole song about him saying he was fucking the officers wife. When the officer was asked if Afroman was really fucking his wife, he said "I don't know". Nuking his own case and establishing that there is a non-zero chance that Afroman might actually be fucking his wife. -As his only witness for the trial, Afroman brought a deputies EX FUCKING WIFE. -The jury ruled completely in favour of Afroman. This entire thing has been a great win for free speech and absolutely fucking hilarious.

@MikeTopp @dril True. There are many circumstances in which dogs feel the need to spontaneously air-jack™, but this display is commonly known as "The Lindsay Hop."

@102Jackass @dril Someone said that’s Lindsey Graham when he’s talking about war.

@dril The dogs warming up.

thanks to AI our slow and humiliating national suicide will be punctuated by visual media that is so good even a dog could jack off to it

The next day I reported for training at the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement’s ultrasecret training facility, which was across the street from their regular facility. The two buildings looked identical, except one didn’t have as big a welcome mat.

Contrails, I call them chemtrails.

The delivery man’s code is less subtle than the hobo code, but just as informative.