Cool Youth Pastor

Cheer up, Emo Teen. Even Jesus cried. Cried out to God! Find some "New Found Glory" in His Word today. We are made "Brand New" through Him!

Little guy, why not peek down a beautiful, mountainous landscape instead of your busty teacher's blouse?

Lemme break it down for ya like this, young homie... If you feel like your body needs a "release", drop a huge load of inspiring Bible verses on a discouraged friend. Ahh! Feels so good!

Jesus has "big d*ck energy".

┳┻| ┻┳| ┳┻| ┻┳| ┳┻| ┻┳| ┳┻| _ Psst... God can see you watching Noodey Tunes. ┻┳| •.•) ┳┻|⊂ﾉ ┻┳|

When you finally get off the computer, stop looking at manga melons and realize that there's a real, beautiful world that God created for you.

Devoted Admirable New believers Keeping Notes and Understanding God's Salvation

The only "good loud" I'm looking forward to are the screams of the wicked on the day of God's wrath...

Ayy pot puffahz check this joint out, why don't we "weed" out some unwholesome peers from our lives? It's time to put down that "Good Kush", and pick up the Good Book!

This Christmas, let's eat a nice, homecooked meal instead of our partner's a$$, aight?

Reminder fellas, a Biblical Journey is the greatest "BJ" imaginable! 🍆💦💦💦

Animeates, this afternoon let's check out Thessalonians instead of another pair of 'toon t*ts, k?

║\ ║▒\ ║▒▒\ ║░▒║ ║░▒║with this blade ║░▒║I cut through ║░▒║Satan’s ║░▒║lies ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ▓▓▓▓ [█▓] [█▓] [█▓] [█▓]

No Jackin’ January No Fap February No Masturbating March No Autoerotic Asphyxiation April No Mashin’ It May No Janein’ It June No Jammin’ the Jewels July No Non-Abstinence August No Slammin’ the Sack September No Onanism October No Nut November No Diddling December

Hm… #NoNutNovemeber ? Cute. More like… #NoNutEver

┏┓ ┃┃╱╲ in this ┃╱╱╲╲ house ╱╱╭╮╲╲ we ▔▏┗┛▕▔ ╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲ Don’t Watch Anime Porn ╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲ ▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔

Fellas, tonight let's use that finger to open up a Bible verse instead of your girlfriend's unclean stench-hole, how about it?

when you’re a virgin & you wait to have sex on your wedding night

🔥👿🔥CAN'T🔥👿🔥SPELL🔥👿🔥HALLOWEEN🔥👿🔥WITHOUT🔥👿🔥HELL🔥👿🔥

Teens, this Halloween give your friends and family a real thrill by dressing like an actual God-fearing, wholesome Christian for a change...

Not too surprising to discover that "Boo 2! A Madea Halloween" is an occult-charged, demon-driven, desperate horror "comedy"... Scary indeed