Nick Beaton

The episode of Sesame Street where Big Bird got vaccinated may seem too political for you, but wait for the next one where Miss Piggy has to drive two states over to get an abortion.

The entire federal NDP party can fit in an Uber XL.

When you think about it, Jesus had ONE bad day.

Weed helped.

If Greenland wants to protect themselves against American invasion they should kidnap JD Vance. And let the U.S know, in no uncertain terms, that if they invade, they will have to take him back.

@EdKrassen Reading the replies made me sad.

My stupid county -- Lee County, Florida -- has removed fluoride from our drinking water. Why? Because people believe conspiracy theories, unscientific studies, and uneducated people. Fluoride is safe and effective. They literally were putting 0.7 milligrams of fluoride per liter of water.

Canadians: finally. An election that matters!

Pro tip: only buy honey in the shape of a bear.

This is like one of those “my kid said the most amazing, brilliant, spiritually aware” tweets. This did not happen.

Oh good. Another man who has never held a chainsaw using it as prop.

Too many people get their news from memes and it shows.

The entire western world: Trump is erratic. We are going to have to be very weary of the U.S as an ally and trading partner going forward. 17% Of the American Population: EvEryOnE hAs SoMe KiNd Of DeRaNgEmEnT sYnDrOme!

“Never make fun of someone for mispronouncing a word. It means they learned it from reading.” *someone says expresso* “Okay. It’s not a hard and fast rule.”

This is some top notch fan fiction.

Meet more people.

Probably should stop burning Teslas if you want to be taken seriously. #TeslaTerrorism #Tesla #ElonMusk

I mean. It was a N@z! Salute though… #ElonMusk #doge #trump #ElonMuskNews

1 in 96.

Staring a podcast. Just me reading a zip recruiter ad for 137 minutes.

I’ve always found the idea of a death row last meal weird. “What do you want with your last meal” “I don’t know. What goes with your entire life flashing before your eyes in a spiral a of abject terror and deep sobbing?”