NonSociopath 🇺🇸

Explaining to children that they shouldn't worry about a career because the world will be completely unlivable in 15 years and that death will be a sweet relief from living in a nuclear wasteland is probably the hardest part of working at Build-A-Bear.

We had a black mayor over fifty years ago and he was mayor for twenty years 73 to 93. Can you get past the race hustler and start judging people on performance

@AsianDawn4 Okay, who signed their dashboard?

🇯🇵 When I cross the street, I sprint because it's my duty to move the fuck out of the way. This is normal behavior in Japan. But in the U.S., a fat chick on her phone intentionally walks slower than a tortoise to piss everyone off 🤦‍♂️

@midwestern_ope When I was a kid...

If the Midwest had a mascot what would it be?

@TheGreenOldDill Well, you're liked and admired so that should narrow it down... 😁

Speculation grows that I’m really a well-known politician and this is my burner account…

@TheGreenOldDill Exxon Senior VP said last week that diminishing supply could push Brent to $160 in the coming weeks. The eknominy is not really my wheelhouse, so thanks for the insight, truly.

Otherwise, we run the risk of running hotter inflation (>4-5%) and that completely undermines his economic agenda. It also sets up the Republicans for a colossal failure in the midterms.

This is exactly opposite of what the Trump admin wants. Let me explain…

@Lightnin_McCroc @pnwguerrilla We've been blessed to visit all 50 and couldn't agree more...

@NonSociopath @pnwguerrilla Been to half the states and this is by far the prettiest one

No hate on Finland, But you clearly know nothing about America.

@TheGreenOldDill I do the opposite - ask for a cup of ice, no Coke Zero. Then whip out a bottle of Mountain Dew Zero and live like a king...

I asked the flight attendant for a Coke Zero with no ice and he brought me the entire can with a cup.

@it_unprofession We live in an area with basically no building codes. Bought a house at auction and found some crazy stuff. Hired a home inspector who said, "You should ground this outlet" and that was it. Ignored the speaker wire used for lighting, etc.

My wife and I finally got an offer accepted on a house and hired a home inspector. I thought he'd just walk around and make sure the roof wasn't actively caving in. Instead, a guy named Gary showed up with a tactical utility belt, an infrared camera, and the demeanor of a homicide detective. Gary spent 6 hours meticulously documenting every structural sin committed in the last 50 years. He handed me a 90-page PDF report that was color-coded by severity. The whole document was basically just red. He noted that the slope of the driveway deviates by two degrees, which could cause pooling during a catastrophic hundred-year flood. I live in a landlocked state. He pointed his thermal camera at a window and told me I was losing an unacceptable amount of ambient heat. I told him the window was open. He wrote that down as a critical mechanical failure. He took me to the basement to look at the HVAC unit. He shined his flashlight on a single speck of dust and asked if I was prepared for the respiratory consequences of poor filtration. I asked him if the furnace actually worked. He sighed deeply and said it functions, but it lacks the efficiency of a modern heat pump. We moved to the electrical panel where Gary put on thick rubber gloves like he was about to defuse a bomb. He told me the wiring was technically up to code but ethically questionable. I don't know how electricity can lack morals, but Gary seemed very disappointed in the circuit breaker. Finally, he found a tiny crack in the garage floor. He used a digital caliper to measure it and informed me the foundation is undergoing micro-settlement. Every house on earth is undergoing micro-settlement. We're on a spinning rock in space, Gary. I asked him for a bottom-line assessment on whether we should buy the property. He looked me dead in the eye and said the house is technically habitable but still compromised. I paid him $600 for this psychological warfare. We're still going to buy the house. I'm just going to live in constant fear that maybe Gary was right.

@iowahawkblog Based on the hairline, we shoulda known...

Vanity, thy name is Dave. No meandering car history yarn in today's Dave's Car ID Service, it's all about Yours Truly and my penchant for hubcap selfies. God help me, whenever I spy an odd one I can't resist the urge to mark the occasion with a egotistical reflective photo. I do not offer these out of pure narcissism however, they are useful in tutoring the general public in the finer points of old car identification. And they are the only known photographic evidence that I exist, so feel free to choose one for my obituary pic. 1936 Studebaker Dictator 1938 Graham "Sharknose" 1939 Cadillac Henney hearse 1937 Hudson Terraplane

@BigPotato26 @NOblivicarsMori Wife cried when we moved to the city and sold our bulletproof 318 with a hydraulic snow blade. Moved back to the country many years later and got an x720 with a hydraulic commercial snow blower. So far, so good.

@NOblivicarsMori Because these are the best ones ever made

This $15,000 John Deere mower overheats if it plugs up with grass

@ClaudesBBQ @TTB_72 x.com/Ethelbrait1941…

@TTB_72 Do them on purpose. Problem solved.

I’d enjoy time spent on here more if I could fricking type without typos.

@midwestern_ope Sent the latest one in yesterday.

Midwesterners will understand this

@NickyPerkss Driven just about all of them (KC – Denver 50+ times), and 65 south of Montgomery is FAST. Even the grandmas in their Nissans are going 85. We have driven that 2-4 times a year for 17 years now...

You can tell folks haven’t experienced 65 South Montgomery to Mobile, Alabama

It’s actually possible California can be saved. It’s not a matter of whether Steve can win. He can, and he will. The real question is will he win by a large enough margin to beat the cheat. Democrats are going to cheat like never before, and Californians must VOTE to beat them.

Boost this.

There’s a reason “Dog” is just “God”, backwards; they share an unconditional love for mankind. Both Nithya and Karen Bass ignore these poor animals being killed on Skid Row and in their city shelters. They don’t care. I will put an end to this horror. VOTE to save these animals.

@AllEmeraldCoast Very sorry to hear that.

UPDATE: The man who was pulled from the Gulf in Miramar Beach on Thursday has died 💔

@TheGreenOldDill We know a few of those companies in that area. We like Emerald Coast by Owner for unplanned stays. Just don't tell anybody.

Update: The property management company accidentally listed that our home had a pool. It doesn’t. Since it was their error, the management co ended up moving the guests to another home and agreed to pay me the rent that I was originally due for this stay. All is well again.