PTNettle

Top 5 to get to know me

@NotUncleRunk It's in his Happy Thoughts special, goes something like "Michael Jackson is proof that you can beat a kid into greatness, but ohhh the thin red line you tow, because you want hit them hard enough that they make Thriller but not hard enough that he fucks children"

@PTNettle Which one

What if Michael Jackson’s Dad beat his ass bc he knew he was gonna be a pedophile in the future, but he couldn’t kill him either bc he knew he’d make Thriller

Scoot Henderson randomly becoming self conscious of the fact he used to be in Wemby convos

I’m honestly running out of words to describe how evil Israel is. It’s almost impossible to even wrap my mind around how anyone can be this sick.

@sweetiepiebee Jesus

and if I wore Jean on Jean???

"So what's your take" "This subway should be filled with sarin, a deadly nerve agent" "100% disagree"

The best running bit in the Jackass franchise is whenever they make Lance Bangs barf

The way Knoxville drops like a sack of potatoes kills me every time

langdonmel season 2 finale

Fun fact! Elmo is actually short for El Mohammed

@MairavZ It has to be the world’s biggest coincidence, in the liberal mind, that Israel is a destructive force that must be contained but the only parties able to meaningfully do so all happened to be ontologically evil terrorists who live outside of history. Oh well, bad luck I guess.

hey man im the first pokemon u see in the game. yeahhh im like just a weasel or a bird or somethin. dont worry I promise shit is gonna go way wacky down the line haha. oh hell yeah I’ll learn cut fuckin love that move

now watching jerry maguire

@jailedamanda What's he hottest to ypu

Everyone voicing which Cruise they think is the hottest…people be saying things so definitively like man I think it depends

@jailedamanda Saw it last night, so great in the theaters, Rod Tillwell is electric on the big screen lol

Asking everyone I know if they want to see Jerry Maguire tonight and they’re all saying yes

when i read a 1 star review of a movie/book i gave 5 stars and they kinda have a point

when you confront your senior resident who you’ve only minimally interacted with for 2 days but he already went through therapy so you discover that he’s just a chill guy #embarrassing