Simon Daniel Smith

How many #NUFC signings is everyone expecting to wake up to in the morning? 😂

@HotActionKOP @SkySports_Keith A cult that pays you £120k a week? Sign me up!

@SkySports_Keith Sounds like a cult Stay away from the family Kool Aid Alex for god's sake!

🚨 BREAKING: #NUFC statement in response to Alexander Isak’s statement tonight: NEWS ALERT *Newcastle United Statement - Alexander Isak* We are disappointed to have been alerted to a social media post by Alexander Isak this evening. We are clear in response that Alex remains under contract and that no commitment has ever been made by a club official that Alex can leave Newcastle United this summer. We want to keep our best players, but we also understand players have their own wishes and we listen to their views. As explained to Alex and his representatives, we must always take into consideration the best interests of Newcastle United, the team and our supporters in all decisions and we have been clear that the conditions of a sale this summer have not transpired. We do not foresee those conditions being met. This is a proud football club with proud traditions and we strive to retain our family feel. Alex remains part of our family and will be welcomed back when he is ready to rejoin his teammates.

On god I thought bro was holding the lebron hammer 😭😭

Happy new year @BBCMaryam

Eddie Howe trying to get Jack Grealish to call Almiron shite again

Me on Monday when the pigs in blankets get put out twitter.com/J_CartwrightN0…

My wrapped got screwed up because I accidentally left this sound effect on loop while I was on vacation. 😭

Classic Alert 🙈She’s Loving It 😳🤣🤣😂

That’s today’s advent calendar eaten. Delicious. Looking forward to tomorrow’s already.

wtf are the odds of that happening

This is so true please repost this video everywhere! Men pay attention to this!!!! #Dispatches #RusselBrand

oh my-

Can’t say too much atm but tune in to Wimbledon tomorrow to see the new wild card entry that methinks you may just recognise 🤫 😉

@MyFitnessPal my app is tracking a meal that I haven’t consumed today. Any ideas on how to fix this?