The Babylon Bee

News Media Successfully Avoids Reporting News

Gavin Newsom's 10 Biggest Accomplishments buff.ly/S32HvCW

Tucker Carlson Loses On ‘Wheel Of Fortune’ After Guessing ‘Israel' On Every Puzzle buff.ly/5jiSFz1

MLB Introduces Popular New Rule Where Umps Who Get More Than 3 Calls Overturned Are Jettisoned Into The Sun buff.ly/JdOAoHy

Gay Ayatollah Excited After Receiving DM From Cute Guy Jamesmohammed O'Keefibad buff.ly/1dcQzUM

California Celebrates Installation Of Single L.A. Trash Can That Cost $400 Billion And Took 18 Years To Build buff.ly/Hcz1aHw

Democrats Fear Higher Gas Prices Could Affect Molotov Cocktail Production

Lego Introduces New Sharper Bricks That Instantly Kill You When You Step On Them buff.ly/l8IKij2

Stryper To Perform At Great Wedding Feast Of The Lamb buff.ly/qQIDISi

Kevin The Janitor Now Most Senior Military Official Left In Iran buff.ly/lOXeyt2

8 Coolest Perks Of Becoming The New Ayatollah buff.ly/TgjKQdw

Kim Jong-Un Wins Over Populace With His Charisma, Experience, And Ability To Shoot You In The Face If You Don't Vote For Him buff.ly/bMD2iYj

Man Bravely Resigns From Trump Administration At Great Cost Of Doing Podcast Tour, Getting Book Deal buff.ly/0mmN6EU

5-Year-Old Holds Press Conference To Announce He Is Switching Obsessive Interest From Backhoes To Dinosaurs buff.ly/oiecjgZ

Iran Update: Current Tax Dollars Winning Battle Against Tax Dollars From Three Years Ago buff.ly/0Mcpms0

St. Patrick Glad He Brought Christianity To The Anglo-Saxons So Their Descendants Could Get Plastered And Punch Each Other buff.ly/KC9PMUf

Mom Frustrated As Kids Once Again Devour Groceries Before Getting Home From Store buff.ly/n3CD92B

Spirit Unveils New All-Duct Tape Aircraft buff.ly/novj4s4

Man Condemned To Hell For Texting 'LOL' When He Didn't Really Laugh Out Loud buff.ly/2iWJMHX

John Thune Vows To Bring SAVE Act Up For Vote As Soon As He's Sure It Won't Pass buff.ly/pbrrnjZ