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If I could sum up my childhood in one sentence it would be: My parents got divorced and then a few months later dinosaurs tried to eat me.
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Tim Murphy
303 posts
Tim Murphy
@The_Tim_Murphy
20 years ago my grandfather invited my sister and me to a theme park with dinosaurs & they got loose and tried to kill us. I love The National and Arcade Fire.
Beigetreten Temmuz 2014
12 Folgt7.5K Follower
Listening to The National and remembering the time I was hunted by actual velociraptors when I was a child
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Tim Murphy retweetet
If anyone's good at writing OkCupid bios, I'm struggling with mine a little bit
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Tim Murphy retweetet
Excited for the weekend and also excited to never again be trapped on a tropical island full of dinosaurs trying to kill me.
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I was trapped in a kitchen with actual velociraptors holy christ
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Going apple picking tomorrow. Between now and then I'll have some of the worst nightmares you could possibly imagine.
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Thanks to all who've checked in during my Twitter hiatus. I'm doing well, for someone who was hunted by velociraptors when I was 9 years old
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Tim Murphy retweetet
The new Belle and Sebastian album is great. Dinosaurs tried to kill me when I was 9 years old and I'll always live with that.
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Tim Murphy retweetet
Once upon a time, the only thing separating me from the horrific jaws of a T. Rex was a pane of glass supported by my 9-year-old arms.
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Tim Murphy retweetet
It would be a dream come true to know with complete certainty that I will never be in a situation ever again where dinosaurs try to kill me.
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Tim Murphy retweetet
I think a lot about going back to Isla Nublar with a machine gun and just killing as many dinosaurs as I can
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