𝙒𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙮 𝙃𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙩𝙤𝙣

@CaryKelly11 Grateful for your mom’s love and investment into your life.

It’s true, you know. I stole comic books, hung out with an arsonist, got into drugs and tried to self destruct a dozen different ways… but Mom never stopped loving me. I had my heart broken three different times but mom always helped me pick up pieces. I was homeless but mom always sheltered me. I was hungry but mom always fed me. Now that she is gone, I may be alone, but I am never completely lonely because God has always done the exact same things. Mom would have been 80 today. If your mom id still alive, hug her or call her today. If she’s not, honor her by living the life she wanted you to live.

Last night as Randy Clark was walking around imparting to people I watched. Thankfully, they shut the chat down. I had the ability to just watch. I listened. I noticed around 8:15 PM CST as Randy laid hands on VeeJay (VJ? DJ?) that Randy asked God for a “transfer of anointing.” I was witnessing, it seemed, a moment where one generation passes spiritually onto another. I had that moment with my own dad, my physical father and my spiritual father - a Paul to Timothy commissioning. As I reflect on what happened in the moment, afterwards, and what I am accounting now, I have some sadness. Somewhere we have missed something. Maybe I’m wrong and maybe I’m reading scripture too simply but impartations especially equipping and giving gifts for substantial revivals is God’s doing. Any impartation in the name of a person, is a focus not on Christ, not on Jesus, but the person. I felt God say “no” to Randy’s request to a “transfer of anointing” and the reason being is that no one needs Randy’s gifts or his anointing. Those gifts from God are unique to him, bespoke to him, tailored to him, customized for Randy by God for Randy to utilize in his life. All of that is unnecessary for Veejay or anyone as they have also been #DirectSourced or #DirectlyResourced by God. Often what man gives in man’s wisdom and understanding with man’s motives, and man’s insight and foresight are not what an individual needs. Often a secondary impartation is a distraction as instead of an individual living out their own purpose equipped and empowered by God with every needed and necessary thing, the individual becomes weighted with the burden of another person’s unfulfilled life. It was humorist, Erma Bombeck, who said, “When I stand before God at the end of my life I don’t want to have a drop of talent left and be able to say I used everything you gave me.” I used everything God gave me. I hadn’t held onto it creating a hoarding situation or a spiritual form of obesity. I used everything God gave me. I encouraged people to direct source from God, not secondarily resource from me. I didn’t want people to settle for my gifts designed for me and my life and my purpose, but I wanted them to ask God, trust God, rely on God. I witnessed prayers for another Toronto or “like” another named and known revival and I felt grief. Those movements were not perfect. Those moments were not free of sin. Many of those moments and movements and people were full of clergy abuse, spiritual abuse and sexual abuse. What was asked for and prayed for or what was prophesied was for double of those horrible crimes against another person or persons. What was imparted or the doors that were opened were pathways to grief, pain, loss, and sorrow because of the understanding of individuals living an incomplete life and NOT finishing their assignment. We have created theology placing us as masters of our universe while saying we are submitted and surrendered to God. We aren’t. We don’t. Spiritually speaking, VeeJay does not need the burden of your unfinished life, Randy. God said no. Run your race, Randy Clark. Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling and exercise Proverbs 3:5-6. God is not done. #PrimarySource #SecondarySourced Image is a screenshot of a moment at Global Awakening-Voice of the Prophets 2026 - April 25th, 2026.

Imagining a person so evil and deceitful is nearly impossible for most people. Even when we dig into the memories of storybook or fictional villains we fail to capture the nuances of a malignant narcissist. The persons I encountered who slide into the definition and expression of malignant narcissist are likable, lovable, admirable and, yet, they are monsters. Their appetite to destroy others a force. Their propensity to make people conform to their will legendary. The signs of a malignant narcissist presented below speak in black and white. The reality of a malignant narcissist is a violent attack on the soul and spirit of a person desiring to steal, kill, and destroy someone else in senseless, merciless ways for the malignant narcissist’s amusement and sport.

For many years this was my experience or my perceived experience. Even in my childhood I required rest and moments of stillness, quiet, and reflection. When there was no quiet and rest I noticed a toll on my body. In recent years, I have had to work to understand my “No” and why my rest must take priority so that I remain well and do not get sick.

I’ve had women, including my own patients, tell me the only time they’ve ever truly rested was when they were too sick to function, injured, or hospitalized. Because that’s the only time the world stops demanding things from them or the only time they feel empowered to say no. If the only way a woman is “allowed” to rest is by being unwell…what kind of world are we living in?

@NorannV You have enough content to write an early reader’s children’s story. What a great experience! Thank you for sharing. The owlets are adorable.

Owl update: napping and fluffing after the storm:

This great-horned owlet is being cared for by its parents near our house as it learns to fly. The intricate feather patterns resemble fluffy bark, and it's fascinating to watch the sideways eyelid motion.

I’m not sure I will make sense of what happened. “Why” is not going to get an answer. Why is not the right question. My question is “What now?” The answer that filters in, “You grow.”

@seanparkerphoto @DifferentUnity @SonyAlpha @TamronAmericas Wow. Gorgeous colors!

2 new Milkyway photos taken last night in the Sonoran desert. #tucson #milkyway #astrophotography #landscapephotography @SonyAlpha A7IV @TamronAmericas 16-30 f/2.8 lens.

I heard the woman as if she were wailing. Mumbling crazy stuff and I could no longer hear the person speaking. What the heck. I looked at the chat thread and there was a woman making comments about and longer prayers for her family. I was confused. She was very distraught. She was very disturbed. She was very distressed and yet no one “on staff” was responding to her. Every now and then someone might write something in chat in passing to her but for the most part she was being ignored. Her comments became erratic to me and disconnected from what the pastor was talking about. Nothing she was writing was tracking with what he was saying. I asked her for clarity about a statement she made about her daughter and she ignored me. She made another erratic combination of comments and I reported her comment trying to alert someone on staff that she needed help. Meanwhile, I’m hearing her wail. Cry. In distress. I’m feeling stressed and just want to listen to the person speaking and can’t. Her distress was too loud. I might have been a bit too direct but I asked if she was listening to the speaker. She indicated that she was having all of these prophetic messages for her family and wanted people to pray into what she saw or was receiving. I suggested she write in a notebook what she was receiving so that she would have the physical record to then process those with the ministry team later…but for now, maybe listen to the preaching/teaching. Immediately, another person applauded her for writing speaking. What the? I paused. What was going on? I had one of those “AITA” moments and checked myself and my motives. I wasn’t sure, exactly, what to do but with hearing/feeling/experiencing her distress as I was, I was not going to be able to hear a thing the speaker was saying. So I began to focus on her. The speaker said something about not being forgotten so I told the lady she was not forgotten, she was loved, known, seen, etc. Keep in mind, I really have no desire to talk or chat and a chat box I can’t silence or turn off is a huge distraction to me as an individual who has ADHD, clinically diagnosed. I felt like I was perhaps being insensitive and the fact that what she was doing was so distracting and showing her distress/stress was increasingly stressful for me. Ultimately, I didn’t want a lady who had said she had been emotionally shut down for so long to feel like attacked. Bottom line, both of us were asked by one of the ministry leaders to end the back and forth. Absolutely! Hadn’t wanted to chat during a teaching/preaching in the first place but there was not a way at that moment for whatever reason to silence or even minimize the chat screen. For me the situation wasn’t good. I took screenshots but ultimately God is not a God of confusion and ongoing chat while someone is teaching not related to the teacher/speaker means the person needs help. If she had been sitting beside me in person and saying what she said, doing what she was doing, I would have invited her out into the lobby to just talk and listen to her. I’m not a jerk but I sometimes the situation creates lose-lose like scenarios. Sighs. I struggle at times people-ing.

@AlistairMerrym1 She wasn’t there every minute of every day in another person’s life.

Last night I watched this. I wrote a very long post. It was late and it was a bit of a ramble and a reminisce. I decided to delete it. It's 2026 and Mike Bickle is trying to make a comeback and these two just happen to drop a video on why the House of Prayer is a great idea. I can't help but wonder whether or not Eric Volz is back advising or if this is just a happy coincidence. Laura is much better PR for IHOPKC than just about anyone that's left at Red Bridge. It's hard for me to accept any of this at face value. There's an agenda here. There are moments in this video where they say God and I hear Mike Bickle. "I feel like God is not afraid of the long game, (He plays the long game) and we are not afraid of the long game." That's the problem so does Mike Bickle and the only thing he's ever been afraid of is the truth. IHOPKC has never been safe for families and children.

@AlistairMerrym1 What does that even mean “to wait for God’s truth” over facts alone? What on earth? So, we have a confession. We have testimony. But going to wait for God to reveal truth in what additional way exactly?

"Coming into the light is also seeing with His eyes not mere acknowledgement of facts." Has to be the most spiritual bypassing I've seen since Mike Bickle painted the seduction and Clergy SA of a child and 19 year old intern as a Demonic attack of accusations because he prays for Israel. Facts matter. Jesus isn't a delusional coward. He's the Just One. He's the God who sees.

I dislike when I don’t think positively about someone. I dislike when I meet someone and there are instantly red flags and warning bells. I dislike when there are thoughts I have that I just can’t shake. Like how, at no point did I not have the thought: “She reminds me of Glenda the good witch off Wizard of Oz.” At no point was I okay as her voice trilled up and down in what to me felt like a mixture of neurolinguistic program with her literally using the rising and the fall of the melodic sounds or tones of her voice to manipulate. Like a melodic lock note after note and key after key. I spiritually challenged her at one point. Something she had done crossed a line. I spoke quietly to her from the comforts of my home. Her response was a seemingly innocent comment broadcast physically, “What about the children?” Spiritually, she threatened my children. I informed her that for her to threaten my children would bring issue to her own house to her children. Threatening another woman’s children is what I have seen is the number one way moms attack or threaten. I have learned that ultimately it is God who protects my kids and keeps them safe. I absolutely cannot consider myself their protector or defender. God’s call and His story on their lives protects them. So, it’s a bit unnerving to ask questions of someone in a spiritual experience and the immediate response in that spiritual moment is for there to be a threat to my kids. That’s something a person invested in evil, not good does. Good people don’t walk around and threaten other people’s kids. My response to her threat was to remind her of the laws of the system she was in. I wouldn’t go after her kids but to feel a threat against mine because I told her not to hurt a man she was about to lay hands on? Yeah…stuff like that is weird. But I was taught that the red flags are enough. The red flags are the red flags. The red flags are enough. Yet because I, it seems, was there to basically draw out the good, the bad, and the uglier it seemed. I didn’t simply leave. I heard the tell-tale sounds and phrases of someone engaging others by use of a siren spirit or a sensual spirit. I won’t be able to discredit my concerns as she seemingly was able to turn off and on and adjust at will based upon what she needed or wanted to do in the moment. Is she evil, no? Is she good? No. She’s human. She has deception. She has error and incompleteness, pride and self-sabotage as well as self-promotion by the buckets and boatloads. But, I’m not entirely sure what I was expecting. She is good at what she does and is physically lovely but the results right now of her life weighed and measured would be “found wanting” and I would not wish that on her or want that for her as I only just met her in a way. It’s very possible to not be on a witch hunt and find a witch. Again, I dislike when I think negatively about anyone. But people should not hurt others. And I watched hurt happen. Physically and spiritually. Aware that mine was not the responsibility to stop what was happening from happening. But just pay attention and watch. See what I see and then say what I needed to say…publicly.

Shift the Language of “Spiritual Fathers” and “Spiritual Mothers” to Create Healthy Boundaries and Healthy Relationships. The Problem: Like biological children, spiritual “children” can be “sired” or established under multiple superficial circumstances. Formed by lusts…not love. What is needed are REAL relationships, not in-name only or placeholder relational acknowledgments. What is REAL? If an individual does not know your name, that person is NOT your father and not your mother. If all you know is the public persona that is not a real spiritual father or spiritual mother. They might have been your ideological or “ideas” sperm donor and the seeds of their thoughts inspired you but if you do not have a physical relationship with the person that is reciprocated, if you do not break bread with (share meals), if you do not spend time with physically or concretely with the person, then that person is NOT a real father or mother, spiritually-speaking, to you. Do not be deceived or deceiving. We have too many men especially in the church desiring to have hundreds if not thousands of spiritual children and the roots of that desire are selfish. The leaders desiring such a position are really no better than deadbeat dads and deadbeat moms. Those leaders only think of the gratification to their own egos being stroked by praise, attention, fawning, and flattery. Those leaders are not built for love. They are too self-centered for proper relational investment. The odds are there is a steady stream of “bodies under the bus” and hurt and disappointed people who did everything right and nothing wrong except to believe the lies of a selfish, likely narcissistic, leader. Leaders, especially inside the church, need to quit playing and quit pretending father/mother and son/daughter relationships if they are not actively and intentionally and honorably sustainably the real and true relationships. No playing house. Playing house does not let a person needing a home and needing a family find a home and a family. People don’t need pseudo relationships or fake promises superficial leaders have no intentions of keeping. They need truly invested relationships.

Carl Jung was not playing around

My first public prophetic word. The three people prophesying over me and my husband was John Thomas (successor of John Paul Jackson). John prior to this moment had never met me but his word was spot on regarding me. Chris McRae or someone under Chris’s authority removed a portion of his prophetic word where Chris mentioned TD Jakes in connection to me. Chris thought his own history with TD Jakes as TD Jakes’ former bodyguard was filtering in. It wasn’t as I had my own physical and spiritual connection to TD Jakes and Chris had seen rightly regarding me and called out what had happened or was happening he just did not know my history. Encourage you to watch my prophetic word spoken about me by “strangers” at the time.

Asked Grok about the Border Collie personality type and added in the details of my known personality blend traits.