John Murphy

Andrej Stojakovic delivering the news.

My stag so. Estonia. Random karaoke bar. Bloke comes in and smashes Nessun Dorma note-for-note and leaves 🐐😮‍💨 Once in a lifetime.

"The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side." "That's a right triangle, ya idiot!"

@BenStiller Ben, can I get severed exclusively during bulls games

@damncontent I’m with you

BEN PLEASE WE JUST WATCHED ANOTHER INSANE EPISODE AND YOURE TALKING ABOUT THE GAME,,?????

Season 5 Episode 16

@ALionEye How many shirts are in the rotation and what’s the most obscure?

As someone who wears some kind of Illini shirt 300+ days per year, bowl week is basically Paris Fashion Week. I’ve put way too much thought into my shirt choices for the next five days. Everyone needs to know exactly where I stand. Today we’ve gone with a very simple tshirt.

“So, you changed from your initial prediction. What was it again? Ruud Gullit sitting on a shed, wasn’t it?”

God, I can’t believe I still have to deal with a Bears season after all of this.

There's nothing more unstoppable than an Irish man and his horse

@ThatBrownDude @bobbyr24

Fair play to Biden for putting this out.

Tonight’s RNC guests & speakers all receiving their respective Stone Cold Stunners • Trump • Glenn Jacobs - Kane • Linda McMahon • Hulk Hogan

My annual 4th of July plea

In honor of the king, @John_Paddock5, and the Illini going the extra mile in OT to win the first game after my daughter was born @edsbs @HollyAnderson @newampaths

@_Charlie_Murphy Asterisk game. Kofi was suspended for nonsense

@MUOverload @KolekTyler @MarquetteMBB @IlliniMBB @_John_Murphy have you seen this?

Tyler Kolek (@KolekTyler) gets the steal and the game winning layup with 18 seconds left as @MarquetteMBB defeats #10 Illinois (@IlliniMBB) 67-66 on November 15, 2021 #mubb

@BobZuppke Gotta have a 7’8 Hagrid-esque center to compete these days

Take that money you were gonna spend on flights to Phoenix next weekend and donate it to NIL so we can recruit Godzilla for next year

@ALionEye My 4 month old fell asleep right when we tied it. I’ve just woken her up. Got to try anything possible to switch the vibes

OK but I'm starting to think it won't help. But if you need it, I will do it.

@ALionEye Time for another restart

12-0 run

Counting the end of the first half, that's now a 10-0 run for UConn since we tied it at 23.

@JWerner247 Counterpoint: the committee absolutely would’ve made them a 13 seed and put them against Illinois first round for Krutwig 2.0

We should never forgive the NCAA Tournament committee for giving us Virginia instead of this guy.

@_Charlie_Murphy “Damn Daniel. Back at again driving cargo vans”

The “Damn, Daniel” kid has to be working a 9-5 by now, right? I bet that’s his go-to for mandated company ice breakers