Askunami

Are you stupid?

Had the pleasure of eavesdropping on a girl's job interview yesterday, and one of the questions was, "If you were an animal, what animal would you be?" That poor soul said she'd be a dolphin. Realizing her blunder, she tried to pivot her answer to a dog, but the die was cast.

@twoodlescore He's so chud moe

YAYAYAYYAAYYAYA

Subtweets are the sincerest form of flattery

"What do you recommend?" I just work here, I don't fucking eat the food. Are you gonna ask me to spoonfeed you next??

I keep imaging having wings and how awkward it would be to fly with them while I have my backpack on.

There are times when I want to claw away at my own flesh, but then I remind myself, "Wait, I'm goated" and carry on with my life

On second thought, you can continue living

Shut up and die

@xd998d Wasn't planning on it, but now my expectations are quite high!

im not a good person pls don’t have high expectations of me

@rottentrust Apparently so 🙄

ok so apparently killing ppl is a hot take??

@puppypilledcat She's cheating on you and sleep vcing with other women

Haha hey I noticed you disconnected during the sleep call... Your internet just went out or something right.. It wasn't on purpose right..

@petelmire Applying for anything but a job

filling out applications for discord servers lowkey humiliating

You tried to suppress me, but I'm finally free of this curse. I'll reign over this website soon enough.

The prospect of taking a bath is always more pleasurable than the bath itself. Yet, every so often, I find myself falling for the same ruse.

.

@YoRHa2Pee Cute

Is it a matter of time or is there something else that plagues this account? I'll begin experimenting so that I can solve this.

I ignore your calls, I don't join your little group discord, and I complete the project for everyone on time consistently. There's really no reason to complain about this

Decided to try this whole 'breakfast' thing everyone's been raving about, and to my surprise, the barista's native tongue happened to be a language I was fluent in. His eyes lit up, and he offered me a free coffee. It seems like becoming a polyglot is the key to world domination