B A R D I G R A S 🪩

one thing about me is if you dare to speak badly about the lady who sued McDonalds because her coffee was too hot, I will rant at you so aggressively for so long that it will become family lore. your children’s children will know all of the facts of the case.

Talking Heads

@varruechexo that manicure though.

Never knew he had a dad ngl I never seen him, I’ve only seen his mom 😭

There’s debate on tiktok rn about who would win in a fight, 100 Americans vs 100 brits and the funniest comment I’ve seen about it is this guy said “don’t forget how when Americans visit Europe to attend the Olympics the local gov has to beg them to stop beating up pickpockets”

washing down my SSRI with a mimosa this morning is the closest I’ve been to the american dream all year.

@presbyrista @Leeleeliberty11 @OldSoul3333 @NoLieWithBTC ectopic pregnancy *does not* require removal of the fallopian tube. removal of tissue can be done laparoscopically. you can’t just say shit just to say it, Deb.

@Leeleeliberty11 @OldSoul3333 @NoLieWithBTC Ectopic pregnancy requires removal of the fallopian tube. Giving her Plan B can cause her to rupture and hemorrhage and die. That’s why they refused to give it to her if that is what happened

Republican Congresswoman Kat Cammack was denied medical care for her life-threatening ectopic pregnancy because of Florida’s 6-week abortion ban. She says she is blaming “the left” for how she was treated at the hospital.

The Telegraph is an incredible newspaper and the UK is a remarkable country

Is everyone crashing out rn or just me and Bieber

@Derlis_Whatever @HappiestCyrus @notgwendalupe It’s (L-R) Emmy Rossum, Michelle Trachtenberg, Perez Hilton, Katy Perry, Amanda Bynes

@HappiestCyrus @notgwendalupe She was in shameless now idk who the one beside her is

This random ass party

@goodfamilia @cooltechtipz is this rage bait?

@cooltechtipz Lose the lines add a headshot in the text give brand to your experience opinions tried not to dox myself lol

Best resume template

uniqlo kinda feels like government issued clothing but i love

dude we’re skating on thin ice later if you want to pull up

you can feed white people coleslaw out of your hand like they’re a wild horse

babe are you okay? you’ve hardly done anything your entire life

not to trauma dump or anything but during the boston tea party, i was actually thrown into the boston harbor because they thought my body was tea. it was really scary. i almost drowned.

sorry i didn’t text you back but you saw me tweeting in the meantime. it’s just that i view twitter as my personal diary for some insane reason & i view texting as a SAW trap designed to expose my lack of social graces

your soul has a hymen and it's broken on the first day you go to work

My additional apologies for not proofreading this tweet - you deserve better, @MonicaLewinsky

today is my birthday, and the only thing for my birthday I want you all to apologize to @MonicaLewinsky