colleen

People tell you that tattoos will keep you from getting hired but I’ll have you know my x-wing has gotten me free breadsticks on TWO occasions so who’s the real winner here

Sure sex is great but have you ever found out that your platonic friend crush ALSO HAS A PLATONIC FRIEND CRUSH ON YOU

@maritessheep Okay now I’m crying I love you so much and wish you every happiness

Geologists rock my world

Anyone who celebrates their dog’s birthday is automatically okay with me.

“While I praise Alec’s work, consider this- people left the industry because of what he did. People gave up their dreams, the art they wanted to make.” I weep for what we’ve lost because of people like Alec. Thank you for speaking.

Tyler: I tried the new frenchie from @jimmyjohns with the salami Colleen: isn’t it something fancier than salami Tyler: .......salamí

I’ve found my favorite video on the internet twitter.com/sleazycarloss/…

THIS BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY!!!!! PLAY YO INSTRUMENT AND LIVE YO LIFEEEEEEEE!!!! (STREAM TRUTH HURTS WE TRYNA GO #1 🙏🏾)

One week of grad school Two mental breakdowns Three papers due Sunday

boomers: millennials are *immoral* and only think about themselves millennials: *sweating* would fleeing into the woods lower my environmental impact? am I supporting CEOs who are jerks to women? will I go to the Bad Place for drinking almond milk

Today's NYT: someone called Bret Stephens a bedbug so he googled "Jews as bedbugs" to reverse-engineer a column calling his critics Nazis, forgot to clear the search and declined to note that the citation did not substantiate the anti-Semitic connotation he based his column on.

@tyforquer Hey liberals, how am I supposed to protect my children when 30-50 feral cats come to the beach to shit?

I have alcoholism so I’m a Perrier socialist. Please respect.

Thought I was killing it in my graduate school skills assessment until I got to the blank section for indicating any Emmys received to date

This is how my prof cancelled class this morning

Sister: say “star spangled banner” Mom: star bagel banana My mom passed her citizenship test! 😎🍾🇺🇸

Now we sail up the Hudson River to North Cove Marina. Thank you to all that greeted us on the water!!