Col

My smoke detector protects me from fire, carbon monoxide and toast.

“There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.” Henry Kissinger

No matter how hard I try, I just never seem to run out of bad ideas.

Sorry I had to cancel for the 5th time in a row. I hoped you would have stopped inviting me by now.

Whoever decided it should only be 3 meals a day is probably the same idiot that decided it should only be a 2 days at the weekend.

This is one of the best space images ever. You are staring at the Carina Nebula. This entire structure is three light-years tall. 7,500 light-years away from us.

There have been thousands of generations of humans, and you are alive to witness the first photo of a Sunset on another World. This is a real photo of the sunset on Mars.

"If you truly love Nature, you will find beauty everywhere." Vincent van Gogh

Smells expensive

Albert Stubbins of Liverpool. The only footballer to appear on the cover of Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

E. H. Shepard (10 December 1879 – 24 March 1976) illustration for Winnie-the-Pooh by A.A. Milne "Pooh, promise you won’t forget about me, ever. Not even when I’m a hundred."

Bill Shankly on when he first took over at Liverpool: “I had no idea what I was getting into, so I got the boys out on the pitch dribbling round traffic cones. “I won’t say the club was in a bad way but the traffic cones won 3-0”

Pictures that explain things ‘Understanding Maps’ 1966 Artist: Ronald Lampitt

“Confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion.” Tina Fey

His excuse for speeding. He paid for the speedometer - he's going to use the whole speedometer!

People's IQ's should be presented like the weather: Actual IQ: 125 Feels Like: 87

I've returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

@GrammarUpdates @countcol A very English sound "th". I've noticed many non-English speakers have trouble using the English "th" sound, and it comes out as a "z" or a "d" or a "t".

For my bird watchers ♥️♥️♥️♥️

⚡ NASA just released insane new image of Mars. Yes those are real clouds. on Mars. 250 million miles away from us. Not just any clouds, these are extremely rare Iridescent clouds seen for the first time ever on an alien planet.