Dom

@GeoffCrowther1 Elon Musk is an absolute moron.

@LivEchonews All the poor family that has to read this.

Body of mum, 54, found 'partially eaten' by pet dogs liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool…

@andylarge2m If you use half the gas to power the ship it's basically free right?

So, on the way to achieving "Net Zero" (🤣🤣🤣) we have resorted to shipping frozen gas halfway round the world using diesel engines.. 😁😁😁 bbc.co.uk/news/business-…

@runroblarun @usainbolt How hard can it be to shave 2 seconds off 🤔

@d23ward @usainbolt 12 something.

I've just watched the re-run of @usainbolt's Berlin 100m WR and I've decided I'd like to become a top level sprinter. Does anyone have any ideas where I should start? #careeradvice

@wowinteresting8 The forbidden pizza 😍

You win👏👏👏👏👏

@bobservant We've all been there, Bob. It's never easy explaining but the memories will pass and that child will smile again.

Sorry to all who saw that A result of a busy day on the van, hot weather and being let down by my shorts. Searing my testicles on the grill was incredibly painful but I know my technique to ease the pain left many of you upset. Personal apology to the child whose ice cream it was

@centurionrunner He ran it at 5:53 a mile pace? Or did I work that out wrong?

NEW 100km WORLD RECORD for Aleksandr Sorkin in 6.05.41!!! Wow!!! centurionrunning.com/live

@andotheridiots @poornabell *Cancels CK One order*

@poornabell Oh GOD yes. Ck One conjures big strongbow and snogging in a park energy

@DrAbbyBoucher Feet of a plasterer or decorator.

Welp, I can't think of a single non-terrifying explanation for this

@fedupofwm @BeanieMacintosh What on earth are you doing in the UK then?

@BeanieMacintosh From a completely ignorant stance does Scotland have a self-sustaining economy?

@theveganting Lack of meat.

What do you think is the main reason people are hesitant to go vegan?!

@SarahDuggers They should have instantly dropped some joke about his house. "Someone gets paid well!" Said with enough confidence they could have styled it out.

I have properly lost it after reading this on Mumsnet.

@keithdunn @JasminKParis Any word on her 3rd loop start?

Jasmin Paris @JasminKParis began loop 2 in 9:24:19. #BM100

@ELTAuthor @MatthewLLand I'm 32 and still angry with Miss Appleton for letting me nearly wet myself in music. She let me go when my eyes started crossing 🥴

@MatthewLLand My 15-year-old son is campaigning to remove teachers’ power to give or withhold permission for using the toilet. I think he has a point.

I’m at a school for World Book Day. I was fully using the toilet when a teacher started knocking on the door demanding ‘who’s in there please? Did you have permission to go to the toilet by yourself?’ before just fully peering in at me over the too small door.

@michaelastracha Don't use that rubbish that promises to eliminate mould! Remove and reseal then wipe down and ventilate after every shower.

You guys make me laugh! Just had lunch giggling at comments! It was a rain spider, pretty harmless & I’m in SA. What makes me laugh, is that it’s taken a photo of a spider in my shower for me to even notice my mould!! On the list of things to do now!

After today's invasion, we've seen lots of people asking how Ukraine became the front-line of tensions between Russia and the West. Here’s 3 mins on how it happened – from the 90s to this week. Produced by Michael Cox, Priyanka, Deladia, Catherine Karelli bbc.co.uk/news