andrewphorowitz

@EricTrump we want your dad for dinner in tulsa

@AbbottKahler have great easter

@AbbottKahler What is spring’s favorite type of pickles? Daffo-dills

@AbbottKahler What did the flower say when he found out it was allergy season? “You’ve got to be pollen my leg

@AbbottKahler •Why is the letter A like a flower? A “b” comes after it!

@AbbottKahler What kind of garden does a baker have? A flour garden

@AbbottKahler What happened when the man opened up his flower shop? Business was blooming

@AbbottKahler instagram.com/reel/DWck1v2E1…

@AbbottKahler What’s a baby chick’s favorite plant? Egg-plants

@AbbottKahler What did the dirt say to the rain? If this keeps up my name will be mud

@AbbottKahler Whats the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father? One’s a pop fly. The other’s a fly pop

@AbbottKahler 65. What’s harder to catch the faster you run? Your breath

@AbbottKahler 52. Why did the cops go to the baseball game? Because they heard someone was stealing a base

@AbbottKahler Why do poor dogs chase their tails? They’re just trying to make ends meet

@AbbottKahler What did the Irish potato say to his sweetheart? I only have eyes for you

@AbbottKahler Q: What do you call leprechauns who collect cans and bottles? A: Wee-cyclers

@AbbottKahler What do you call a fake diamond in Ireland? A sham-rock

@Matt_Pinner All 20

6 for me!! I feel confident nobody Has all 20 How many for you?

@BreitbartNews Stupid fuck

Virginia Dems Say Unarmed ROTC Cadets Stopping a Terrorist Shooter Proves YOU Don't Need a Gun

@AbbottKahler •Q: How can you spot a jealous shamrock?
A: It’ll be green with envy! •Q