Domenic Palumbo

Still from my screen test for @showmesketch's short, Being Al Yankovic. #parody @alyankovic @ComedyBangBang

Me listening to @AndreaBocelli perform Con Te Partiro at the @HollywoodBowl last night. It was as close as I’ll likely get to experiencing Huff N’ Doback perform it.

I just angrily tossed a bag off the chair I want to sit in to have my coffee and it made an overly loud crash. I’m now sitting here going thru an escalating list of important things in my head it could be I just accidentally broke...

All toddlers dance like Danny DeVito

Live look at the communication device in the @WhiteHouse devoted solely to sending orders* to @nflcommish. I boycotted the @NFL when they f*ed over St. Louis (nee #FuckKroenke) but this standing order is garbage. I hope the league folds. *shit

Today is gonna be a good day. twitter.com/todd_spence/st…

97 X. Bam. The Future of Rock and Roll.

@FMchubs Come now. You didn’t appreciate Daniel Stern’s death?

Me: I took multiple classes on pop culture. I've written on the topic since I was 13. My insights are astute and biting, my taste infallible. Also me: Time to deliberately choose to watch the netflix original movie by the workaholics guys and not laugh for 1hour41min straight!!!

Right pitch, Wong time. Amirite, @DannyMacTV @TheCatOnFox?

@EddiePerino It’s a baby shower. Is Dildo The Clown™ not available? I’ve heard nothing but mediocre things from @Getbidd and @jackcunninghamw.

I’m back in LA after a fantastic family weekend celebrating the life of my aunt. To get over all my St. Louis family, food, and booze withdrawals, I’m telling myself this is what my family does whenever I leave town again:

I love being home with my parents. My dad just shouted, “Quiet” from the driver’s seat and proceeded to turn up @kmoxnews to hear the traffic report before we all got on the road. #OldSchool

Phoenix’s Airport has a killer speed dating scene, FYI.

Speaking of #GodsHands, I sneezed at his airport bar and out loud said, “Bless me.” Why anyone is my friend is beyond me.

I checked my bag with Southwest, despite having to switch planes in PHX on the way to STL. I could have easily carried it on, but I’m lazy. It’s in God’s hands now.

@USATODAY is that kid that puts participation trophies on their mantel. Nice try, USA Today...

This is what dreams are made of. twitter.com/mulaney/status…

There’s gotta be a circle in Dante’s Hell for this guy on this @southwest flight who saved 5 seats for his people who boarded last. Everyone hates him. #FullFlight

@kher8286 No, I’M Keith Hernandez.

COMING TO A BOOK NEAR YOU REAL SOON. GM.

“One of my best friends was killed by gun violence right around here...”

Having to watch the same exact snap in multiple @Snapchat groups b/c you and the sender are in all the same groups is 2018’s TPS Report Memo.