Drew (some assembly required)

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Drew (some assembly required)

Drew (some assembly required)

@dmc1138

if it wasn't for this nonsense, I'd have no sense at all.

Delray Beach, FL Beigetreten Mart 2009
1.5K Folgt6.1K Follower
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Drew (some assembly required)
Her: “I love your cologne. What is it?” Me: “Icy Hot.”
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CBS plans to air Comics Unleashed after Cobert ends, which is ironic because I thought CBS liked to keep their comics leashed.
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Drew (some assembly required)
Jesus: “Hey everyone, I’m back!” Disciples: “We hid some eggs for you to find.”
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Drew (some assembly required)
You don't have to be drunk on New Year's Eve to know the lyrics to “Auld Lang Syne”, but it sure helps.
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Drew (some assembly required)
Shout out to everyone wearing new socks today.
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Of all of Santa’s reindeer, I feel the most sorry for Dasher who had to take a second job delivering food to make ends meet.
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There needs to be a NYE party with open bar and hors d’oeuvres and all that stuff, but then from like 10pm to 11pm, they pass out pillows and blankets for nap time.
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Drew (some assembly required)
Right now, aunts all over the country are getting out their recipe for green bean casserole in preparation for Thanksgiving.
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Drew (some assembly required)
*seductively eats a tube of raw cookie dough in front of you*
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Drew (some assembly required)
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it at least six or seven times.
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Drew (some assembly required)
I wonder if Judy from Time Life Books is still standing by waiting for my call.
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Drew (some assembly required)
"This isn't a competition", I say first before anyone else says it.
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Drew (some assembly required)
Omg You guys should see this drunk guy at the bar trying to order another drink. Hold on, that's me. Wow. There's lots of mirrors in here.
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