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@dvxenrx
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unknown Beigetreten Mayฤฑs 2026
16 Folgt30 Follower
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I asked/told my daughter yesterday, โBaby Iโm going to trim these hedges and cut the front yard in the morning, do you want to help me!โ
Do you know that this little skinny heffa looked at me like I cursed out my momma and said, โNo! Daddy Iโm not a boy, thatโs boy stuff. You should have had a son if you wanted to do boy stuff!โ
I said, โWhat!?? Baby, girls cutt grass all the time. Look at Mrs. Earlene, she cutts all the time!โ
She said, โWell I aint Earlene daddy and can you make some steak๏ฟผ Tonight, I want mine with a salad!โ
I just walked out of the room.
This lil dry headed heffa thinks that I am her personal barber (I trim up the back of her neck for her pixie), a short order cook, a maid, a personal assistant, a ATM, a handy man, bug killen, light blub changing, credit card paying chump!
What she doesnโt know is my credit card is locked and my momma is coming to pick her up and taking her to FunCity to help with my sisterโs demon children and I canโt wait!
PAYBACK IS A B!๏ฟผ
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I lost a friendship over a conversation I didn't even think was a problem.
A few months ago, a friend invited me out to meet one of her friends.
They were into scrapbooking.
I wasn't.
So I brought a project I was working on and just hung out while they did their thing.
We were sitting in a cafรฉ inside a shopping mall when an older guy from a nearby table noticed what I was doing.
Him: That's pretty cool. How long does something like that take?
Me: Depends. This one will probably take a few months.
Nothing unusual.
Honestly, people ask me about my hobbies all the time.
On trains.
In coffee shops.
Waiting rooms.
It happens.
We talked for a couple of minutes.
Then he asked:
Him: Any chance I could get your number?
Before I could even answer, my friend exploded.
Friend: Leave him alone right now or I'm calling security!
The entire cafรฉ went silent.
The guy looked shocked.
Him: What?
Friend: I said leave!
Now they're arguing.
People are staring.
I'm sitting there wondering how we got from knitting patterns to a public incident in under ten seconds.
Security eventually shows up.
My friend tells them the guy is harassing us.
The cafรฉ staff says he's a regular customer who's never caused problems before.
Security asks him to leave anyway.
And just like that, the whole thing is over.
Or so I thought.
A week later I got a text.
Friend: I don't think we should be friends anymore.
Me: What?
Friend: You put us in danger.
Me: How?
Friend: You encouraged him.
Apparently, in her mind, answering questions about my hobby was encouraging a dangerous situation.
Then it got weirder.
Friend: It was disrespectful to your girlfriend too.
At the time I didn't even have a girlfriend.
I hadn't even gone on a first date with the woman I'm with now.
We were barely texting.
I just stared at the message.
Me: So you're ending our friendship because I answered someone's questions in a cafรฉ?
Friend: You should have apologized.
That was the moment I realized we were living in completely different realities.
Because from my perspective, a guy asked about my hobby.
Then asked for my number.
Which I hadn't even had the chance to answer.
From her perspective, I'd somehow put everyone at risk.
I ended up apologizing anyway because I didn't want a fight.
But the friendship ended.
And honestly, the thing that sticks with me isn't losing the friendship.
It's realizing someone can be sitting right beside you during the same conversation...
...and walk away with a completely different story.
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One time I had jury duty & got picked for a trial. It was about an insurance company not replacing some windows in a building after a storm. One of my 12 peers was an older lady who, during one warm & boring summer day in the jury box, slightly nodded off for one second. That woman was IMMEDIATELY removed & replaced with an alternate juror. This is not about jury duty or windows.
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