Elizardbeth

This boy is good. This boy is sweet. But he boot too big for he gotdamn feet

milfs man I love figure skating

why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had

‘Bout shit my pants while voting. Almost did my civic doodie.

I can’t find my Randy Savage shirt, so I will be pouting for the rest of the day.

@ChloeRine24 You got this, Aunt CoCo!!❤️

Why is it so fucking hard to work, parent, go to school, manage a household, & manage friendships. I am STRUGGLING y’all. The next couple months are going to be tough.

How tf did I get on giant crab tik tok..?

The Venn Diagram of girls with daddy issues and girls with pierced nipples is a circle.

Happy Monday

keep your ear keen and your rear clean

My child is @MythicalChef Josh’s biggest fan.

@LauraJaneGrace @Travistritt

Offering top dollar* for anyone willing to hit me with their car. *I have $17

Tonight my daughter was giggling at a restaurant. She was smiling and playing with toys and having a great time. And the lady next to us asked to be moved. Twice. My child was not being obnoxious or disruptive. She is an infant and infants make noise. Don’t be like this bitch.

@amandaporq Im so sorry. I love you♥️

all three of my childhood loves are together again ❤️❤️❤️

Rest in Peace, sweet Rosie Lynn. ❤️

@SalvadorDaley Love you so much

I don’t know how to be normal again. I am just tired and sad and I am still having a hard time comprehending that my mom is dead.

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve unsubscribed and @turbotax still won’t leave me alone

Can dogs hum? Like are they just choosing not to?

How do people feel like a drag character holding a children’s book is more dangerous than a caucasian terrorist in a white mask with an assault rifle? Truly, cannot wrap my head around it.

HR at my new job was getting my account set up and asked me to write down the password I wanted. I needed to think fast considering my previous work password was PoopF@rt420