evan 🤠

@wegotl0ve Under bridge spicy crab. Please try it.

i have landed in hong kong

@JuniperFolly In my heart Bryon has naturals

If i worked for the government, my husband wanting to try on some big fake titties wouldnt be a national security risk bc i wouldnt gaf

@proletarat Nothing.

@evanfromIT Nothing at all?

Nothing feels better than telling someone you’ve already seen the meme they’re showing you

Jon Jraper

@Shadowcoder203 @wafermelon Afab women also like autistic map games sorry shadowcoder3

@wafermelon @evanfromIT Trans women

The most dangerous thing a woman can do is show you Crusader Kings 3

@okay_connie That’s okay Connie

im gonna start depression posting again, sorry bout that

@michaelsykes Smoking the after sex one as soon as my wife pulls up to the house

you know you're about to be murdered with poison when your wife starts doing stuff like this

My hands look like this so hers can look like this

She’s flexing her Duolingo streak so am I

A 19 year old called me unc today

Taiwan made a Diet Coke for girlies who can’t poop ( i am girlies)

Me when I uhhhh uhhhh me when

Finding out that Jutta Leerdam is engaged to a Paul brother. They must be stopped.

Double texting my dad then asking “are we still friends”

Your crush telling you you snore is worse than being killed with a hammer

Everytime I match with a someone that’s 4’11 to 5’0 I contemplate whether dooming my entire bloodline to hobbitdom is worth it

@okay_connie @shatsuinu Us