F$

Nothing makes me want to turn to Satan more than those fucking awful @HeGetsUs commercials

They just called talmbout "we'll be there in 25 max 30 minutes." Cool I'll hold my breath and hopefully you'll be here by noon

Why is everyone so fucking unprofessional

Called a locksmith days ago to get a quote to change some locks. They need to see the locks, sure, make an appointment. That appointment is today 10am. We called at 9am today to confirm. Yup, confirmed, see you at 10am. It's almost 11am. No locksmith. No calls. Nothing

First 3 @MTA train cars this morning have been converted to homeless hotels: every bench, taken by sleeping bums, and a HUGE pile of literal shit on the walkway between the cars. Remind me why I'm paying more for this "service"? Oh yeah cuz there's no alternative. Cool

This Manny Pacquiao interview is the dumbest thing they've aired during a live baseball game since ESPN gave Tristan Casas a live microphone after he's done 2 lines of coke and chugged a white Monster

me: these are headphones. they go over your ears so you can privately listen to music or podcasts time-traveling pilgrim: so then why do people play stuff loudly off their phone in public spaces? me: okay, you're actually picking up on things way faster than I thought

Braindead

Guy at work yesterday: You live in the Bronx right? Me: Nope, I do not Guy: *without hesitation* are you sure? Me: ...

Chick I just passed on the sidewalk, on the phone: Well you know if he ain't eating the food that y'all shopped for together you know what that means right? He's eating with some OTHER bitch

Cuz wtf you mean you "don't wanna say"? But whoever it was has you confronting ME? On some hearsay? Beloved. Respectfully, miss me with that nonsense.

If you're gonna come to me on some "I heard you been saying XYZ about me" type shit, I truly do not care nor do i wanna hear about it UNLESS you're gonna tell me who said it.

Absolutely bonkers catch

Enjoying MARSHALS but I can NOT get over how much Kayce looks like Mike Piazza hahaha

But no, you said 9 and noon so now I'm starting my day late cuz you either don't know how to tell time, don't understand how to efficiently divide your labor up, or don't care. Cool

Why give a time window for a service to be rendered if you're not gonna abide by that window? Why say between 9 and noon and then, when called at 1pm, say you need FOUR HOURS? If you'd just said between 5 and 8 I'd have been like lil late but ok I can get shit done during the day

UNCONSCIONABLE I SAID @nytimes

The loller do be copterin

Currently being held at the station on this A train because we're "slightly ahead of schedule" hahaha. God forbid we're a little early, gotta make sure we're late as hell!

Cuz they were showing an on-field interview nobody watching gave a flying fuck about, btw