kiesha

Weed smokers are the only fortune tellers left in the world, they can predict very accurately

A coworker once asked if she could see the rubric used to determine her performance rating, since the rating itself seemed inconsistent with the feedback she had received all year. She was told the rubric was an internal tool not typically shared with employees. She asked how she was meant to improve against criteria she could not see. Nobody had a clean answer. She improved her circumstances instead. Elsewhere.

I hired a sitter + told her day one: “Do not turn off the nanny cam. It’s for safety, not to spy.” She said “Of course, I love transparency.” Then unplugged it every nap time for 2 weeks. Kid fell off the couch during one blackout. Concussion + ER + therapy: $4,500. Her response? “He’s clumsy. Cameras don’t prevent falls.” Then she denied the camera was ever off. Said I was “controlling” and “didn’t trust her.” My sister said: “She needs the job. Don’t report her.” But it wasn’t about trust. I gave her a safety rule. She disabled it anyway. So I checked router logs + pulled the offline timestamps + matched them to ER time. No accusations. Just sent the data to the agency + police. Turns out she’d done it with 3 other families. I was just the first who checked logs. Agency fired her + police filed negligence. She lost her certification. My kid still has therapy. But now the camera has battery backup. And somehow… I’m the one moms group calls “paranoid.” Apparently, in childcare, “safety cam” means “optional.” But expecting the one thing protecting your kid to stay plugged in? That makes me the villain.

How do 14 year olds find drug dealers but police can't??

Baby daddy's really say stupid shit like, " you dropping the kids off so you can spend the night with another nigga?" Huh they can't come, bye 😂😂

Why do Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, and the Apple camera all look different on the same phone 😭😭😭

Be honest if you smoke weed daily would you seriously date someone who’s 100% sober and hates the smell?

When the harvest is so good you gotta thank it personally.

I think weed can suppress your real personality. It makes you overlook a lot of things, slows you down, and if you're high every single day, there's a good chance you're not fully being yourself

My son burst through the door after school, yelling at the top of his lungs: “Mom! Mom! I got picked!” I had no clue what he was talking about. Turns out his teacher chose him to welcome a new student to the class. Not because he’s the best at sports. Not because of his grades. He was picked for his kindness. I don’t think I’ve ever felt prouder in my life. My heart is still full. There are so many achievements in this world… but being known as the kind one? That might be the greatest one of all. ❤️

ADHD makes me send a completely normal text and then analyse it like I've just created an international diplomatic incident.

Me locking in for the most important task of the day.

Patriarchy is so deeply rooted that a woman is expected to relocate, change her surname and adapt to a new family after marriage, while a man doing basic household chores is treated like a hero

This alone should stop you from drinking

Feel happy working on a weed farm 🚜

craving ice cream, whatsApp na cold stone?.😂😂

Low-income kids have to worry about how they will get an apartment, a car or a loan when their parents can't co-sign because their credit is bad from forced debt just to make ends meet. Tell me generational wealth isn't systemic

Me:- I’m going to be so productive today. Also me:- [spends 3 hours researching the history of the fork because I saw a weird lookin' one in a meme]

A friend in our group was getting married. Someone created a group chat and said: "Let's all chip in $100 each for a luxury espresso machine as a wedding gift." I replied immediately: "I can't do $100 right now. I can contribute $25." Nobody objected. Or so I thought. Two weeks later, the machine was purchased. My share? Apparently $100. I reminded everyone about my message. The organizer rolled her eyes and said, "We already bought it assuming you'd pay." I said, "That sounds like a you problem." On the wedding day, I gave the couple a thoughtful $25 gift and a handwritten note. The organizer was furious. Suddenly I was selfish. Funny how people become generous when they're spending someone else's money.

You can be autistic and still deeply care about people… but struggle because your version of care doesn’t always translate socially the way others expect.

Today I had a dream that my cat learned to speak. I figured this out after I started to pet him and asked, Who is the good boy here? and he answered in a human voice, "Not you, obviously: