bananafanafofisa

It doesn't matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

If we’re taking sides… I’m on the side of the Pope. And I’m an atheist.

do u think the moon was happy to see another girl up there

when people read my tweets

@Rahll @krassenstein This is outstanding 🤣

@krassenstein He started squeaking after the S poked him in the grundle.

BREAKING: Far right extremist Jake Lang was apparently arrested for defacing this ice sculpture in Minnesota. Lang claims that he is facing felony charges, and $6,000 in damages. I hope this loser spends a lot of time in prison. FAFO! I think it’s ironic that after all the claims that the left destroys property it’s their right that actually is doing it in Minnesota.

String of words your grandpa lets out when he stubs his toe

terrifying to think that with a suitable covering of synthetic skin, these machines could convincingly pass for any number of US senators and congress members

Are you sleeping in heavenly peace with other bitches yes or no

How long it takes me to accomplish one simple task.

it’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane

Wait…is this feeling I’m feeling h-hope!? 💙🩵💙

@whatsJo Jo this may be the funniest thing I’ve ever read 🤣❤️

He looks like the guy in a movie that only Eric’s character can see.

Know your rights, Illinois. Stay safe and stay informed.

“How do you know them?” We go to Twitter together

if bagels can have everything so can i

@ANMPH And it’s still true! 😝 Thanks! Hope you’re well!

@lisaxy424 a friend just shared this on another platform and I was so proud of you.

@stepheniscowboy i just fell in love with you over this tweet btw

Birds live all over the world actually

well that's not very in love with me of you

I can’t sleep at night without my CPAP (chicken parm and pierogis)