Michelle Markowitz

My friend is in labor and just texted me back right away but one time a dude took 12 hours cause "work got a little cray"

I can’t believe I never noticed this before

This is what it’s like swiping on bumble when your age range is 32-45

When youve spent your career in public service, but thanks to tonight’s shout out will only be known for the bill about outlawing when pretzel companies have less pretzels in the bags than before (which should be ILLEGAL, btw) #SOTU2024

Mike Johnson face inspo part 2 #SOTU2024

Mike Johnson face inspo

@LinkedInHelp I’ve been locked out of my account and persona is not working to verify. I sent a DM as well. Can you please get in touch?

@BriefsNBaseball Oh that is good to know!!

@michmarkowitz You can “block” an artist!

Spotify is really making me skip forward on Michael Buble on every Christmas mix

I have 12 weeks until I can read the Britney Spears book. Can someone please tell me if she says anything about the dance off with JT I’ve been thinking about since 2005??

I just realized I’m one Stella D’oro breakfast treat away from becoming my grandmother

@agreenberg Meta!

TFW you email a colleague and you get an OOO message referring people to… yourself. cc @michmarkowitz

@agreenberg Very glad my video was off when I read the news

This is the most excited I’ve felt about a woman changing her mind since Shiv

@rshields37 Your dad sounds like an incredible person. What you wrote was beautiful. Sending ❤️ and strength.

Walter (Bob) Shields 10/3/1944-3/29/2023 Walter (Bob) Shields passed peacefully and on his own terms in Naples, Fla. after a very brief illness. He was 78.  A Staten Island native, he was a florist for 50 years, bringing color and joy to people at their highest and lowest moments. His three children's hobbies were his hobbies. Active in the Boy Scouts (raised two Eagle Scouts) and active in sports (raised a record-setting college basketball star). He made sure they never went without anything they needed or wanted. They ended up being an ink-stained wretch, a fragrance maker to the stars and an NYPD officer. Later in life he welcomed two sons-in-law into the family. A 6'9'' man from St. Maarten and a 5'5" man from the Philippines. He treated them as if they were his own sons. In his Florida retirement, he enjoyed gardening, napping and yelling at the television with his wife of more than 50 years. In the last 10 months, he got to spend as much time as he wanted with his three grandsons. He was devoted to them. In lieu of flowers and whatnot, please be kind, be humble and respect hard work. Those were his values. You can also imbibe a mojito while watching "Kelly's Heroes," his favorite drink and movie. For those who insist on sending something, place an order of Katz' Deli pastrami and DM me for the address. He would have enjoyed that.

Larry David has always seemed so old but whenever I watch a really old episode of Curb I realize how young-old he used to look compared to now

It’s time for my annual re-reading of the “hey ladies” series on @TheToast + the book. Bless @CarolineMoss and @michmarkowitz for this awful, amazing creation

What’s going on with Ben Affleck’s face?

Austin Butler is speaking like he grew up in Memphis in the 30s but I just googled and he’s from Anaheim?! Cmon dude

It’s really different to both watch the Golden Globes and also read every take on Spare at the same time but I will!!

As a connoisseur of sideburns on TV actors I had a crush on during the years 1990-1999, these are 10/10