Annie Bone / AG

NYE 2018: woken up by fireworks at 12:00, whisper “happy new year” to each other, back to sleep by 12:01

Like instead of buying a sequined crop top from Forever 21 to wear here we spent extra money on balcony seats with a view to avoid crowds. How times change.

When there’s nobody in line for the bar at Bogart’s and you realize you must be the oldest one there...

Prime Video is now on Apple TV. Is 26 too young to retire?

There are about 5 water bottles, 4 protein bar wrappers and 2 cups of coffee in my car at any given time. And I swore I’d never turn into my mother.

I realize no kids think their parents are cool but I hope Brooks realizes he has abnormally cool parents. Although I’m sure all parents think that.

This kid is basically being raised in a tattoo shop and he has no idea.

Being a mom means never eating or drinking anything while it’s still hot

Out of all of my artistic abilities, I’d say my most impressive skill is putting on my eyebrows while holding a screaming child.

Maybe it’s just me, but it seems our worst performances have happened when we try to fix things that were never broken.

Obviously we should win this match, but a playoff @ Louisville would be kindaaa awesome.

Tonight’s 11 is the group that should’ve always been out there.

Anytime Brooks decides to wail in the car I just crank up the music and sing really loudly and he eventually admits defeat and gives up.

I just witnessed a girl at the coffee shop leave half of a Fat Ben’s cinnamon roll uneaten. This is a particular kind of sin that I’m sure there’s a special punishment in hell for.

Actually I’m lying I found it perfectly acceptable before.

When you have a newborn, “happy hour” is any hour that they sleep. Which makes it acceptable to drink wine at 3.

Having a newborn is like having an extremely intimidating 10 lb boss. Will he let me finish my coffee today? Maybe. Will he let me take the time to wash my hair? Ehhhh.

@katescreepy Gurrrrl you know I got u when you’re back for a visit!! 🐱🖤

I’m becoming increasingly more nervous that by 6 mos our son will realize how much cuter he is than us as he hops in his Ferrari and speeds off

My mom at halftime: “should we open some wine? We should open some wine.”