Nancy Beem

wtf western dental do to this man 😭

storm episodes in sitcoms >>>

Why Maroon 5 put their foot in She Will Be Loved…

This is my favorite Peggy Hill joke while we’re on the subject

Follow this beauty on OnlyFans!!! 💜🤍💜🤍

Went to the gym tonight at 5 for some cardio, because I apparently hate myself. Finishing up, I had noticed an older gentleman watching me. He came over and asked “you can watch TV on your phone in here?” Yes 😂 let me show you the way. #letterkenny at the gym & making friends

My dad asks me what time I have to be at church in the morning to greet… Me: “after that dang meeting they have- we gotta stand in a circle and be happy. I ain’t happy 😠” Dad: “sooo like 9:30?”

My mom: “there’s tornados in Nashville.” Me: “which one?” Mom: “uhmmm the standard tornados.”

me when the temperature drops below 60°

Tonight at Cats, one of her pals asked me “so are you a ‘no’ on kids then orrrrr…?” It’s a no, and an uncompromising one at that, thank you for bringing this up Emily. Now, if y’all will gander upon my PowerPoint I have projected on the garage titled “nah.”

i have never wanted a “partner in crime” have always just wanted a “partner in errands” - just come to CVS w me, we don’t have to rob it

The 23 flavors of Dr Pepper never go offline.

Instead of saying “yes/yass/ yeah,” my dad just likes my messages.

My Grandma Crawford told me it was okay to steal chocolate from Walmart because “they don’t make any money off that anyways.” I don’t like chocolate but I stay sliding a snickers bar in my bag in memory of her 😅

pilot: we’ll be landing shortly passengers: ok pilot: on the moon passengers: what pilot: i went too high

This client also requested a new therapist last week with the following qualifications: Male Black 6’2-6’5 Ma’am....those are all of our requests but you got a 5’10 white lady instead. I would be disappointed, too, but here we are

When clients say “well let me tell you about you!” Like yessssss, your turn bb. Here’s the notepad, do you mind if I lie down?